FYI

We had an upsetting experience a while ago and I thought I would pass on the basics of it in case someone else could end up in this awkward situation.

About 12:00 in the afternoon (while I was tutoring) I got a knock at my door and opened it to find a police officer (Detective Somebody) and two people who introduced themselves as social workers or Child Protective Services. They asked to come in, so of course, I let them in. As they were coming in Bryce ran over and hugged the police officer, which I thought was a little strange but Bryce tends to be a little overly friendly anyway.

They told that they had received a call about an incident a few days before and someone had reported a child had been locked out of the house early in the morning. I was completely floored and then remembered that the week before I had been up with Bryce (who had a bad cough) on and off all night. The next day the kids didn't have school so I fed them breakfast, turned on cartoons and went back up stairs to lay down again (having only got five hours of broken sleep). Sometime while I was sleeping Avery had drug a stool over to our front door and undid the chain (we use as a precaution to keep kids in more than keep anyone else out) and unlocked the dead bolt and went outside. She hadn't unlocked the lock on the knob though and locked herself out. It was fall and she was just in her nightgown so it was chilly but not freezing. She knocked and rang the door bell but the kids didn't hear with cartoons on and I didn't hear because my bed room is at the back of the house and upstairs. My neighbor's daughter heard her and came over and knocked until Shaylee opened the door. Shaylee mentioned it to me later but didn't come and get me. So, got up a bit later, talked to the kids about not unlocking the door while unless they ask me first and didn't think much about it.

I explained this to the social workers and the police detective. They told me that before they had come over to talk to me they had been to Shaylee and Bryce's school and had talked to them individually there. I guess they had pulled the kids out of class and talked to them in the school office. My understanding now is that they can do that since the kids aren't on private property. That is why Bryce recognized the officer. They asked if they could look through the house and again (slightly shell shocked) I said yes. Luckily my house was pretty much spotless and I had actually made cookies that were out on the counter.

They saw that we had put a lock on the outside of Avery's door and told us that we had to take it off. I told them that we had put it on because she we had just put her in a regular bed and she would get up and wander around at night. (Particularly to avoid something like her getting out of the house imagine that.) But they said we had to take it off anyway, which seemed invasive and counter. They looked through the cupboards to make sure we had food. All the while the police officer was chit chatting telling me how nice my house was and how sweet my kids where and how nice it was to have calls that were so obviously unfounded. The social worker said very little and looked unpleasant.

They left saying that we had to call when we had fixed the lock. I called Paxton and bawled of course (I'm glad that I made it until they had left though). He was furious and made a whole bunch of phone calls. We also had a good friend of ours who worked at the office with the other social works vouch for us but even still there was no apology or anything at least consoling. We turned the lock around and eventually got a letter saying the case was dropped and the allegations were proved false.

For the next few days Paxton did a lot of research that I thought would be good to pass on. I don't know if knowing it would change the way I acted but at least I would have had the chance to make an informed decision.

First, anyone (including police officers) CAN NOT enter your house with out your permission or with out a warrant. I realized I gave them this permission when they asked if they could come in and I said yes. You can demand more information or speak to them outside if you want. You can also refuse them entry and they would have to ask a judge for a warrant (which in my case probably wouldn't have happened but the case could not have been closed so quickly).

Secondly, they have to ask permission to look around the house. There are a number of things they look for (cleanliness and sanitary conditions, dangerous items where children can reach them, available food, and locks on the kids bedroom doors) that add up in points and if the points are so high, then more serious action can be taken. In our case we only had the one lock and even then they can only "recommend" we change it but if we don't, then the case will not be closed.

Third, the record (though closed an proven false) is still kept. I guess there are tons of calls that come into Child Protection Services. Someone else I know got called in because their three year old walked over to a neighbors house and knocked on the door and said, "I'm cold." I guess there are some people who call in so many times that their stories are discounted.

Fourth, when they talked to the kids at school I guess they asked questions like, are you hungry very often? Is your house safe? And what happens when you get in trouble. That was all I could get from the kids except that Shaylee was upset and didn't want to talk about it because she was afraid she said something that would get me in trouble. I guess she told them that when she got in trouble she went to time out but if she did something really bad she got a spanking. I had to tell her she did what she was supposed to and she should always tell the truth to adults.

Finally, I know who called us in and I would like to think that they really were doing it in the best interest of our kids (Paxton says otherwise and don't bring it up with him unless you want an earful). I really don't harbor ill feelings but it is hard not to think about it when they live across the street. I have gotten over my paranoia of letting the kids play where someone can see them and have just let them be kids. I hate the feeling that I have been judged as a mother but I know that I give everything I have to my family and though I am not perfect, I am doing the best I can.

Pageant Recap

It is all over. I can honestly say that I had a great time and am very glad I did this all. I didn't win any awards but I met all my personal goals I wanted to and made some fairly profound revelations about myself. As promised I will give an honest recap of my opinion one the whole matter. (This may be lengthy but I promise it is interesting.)

I guess it didn't occur to me before that pageants stay in business because they are just that... a business. The person that wins the title is the one that the heads of the business thinks is most likely to promote more business. Somehow (perhaps because of vanity) people are willing to pay a fair amount of money and work very hard to apply for this position, that if they win, they will work for free for a year. There is a lot of prestige that comes with the application and title, so for many it is worth it. In the mean time many good causes get publicity and work done for them for free. However, I think that many (not all) contestants would not do the work without it being part of the pageant. I can say this all because I did it and I don't regret any of the work I have done. There are some really strong, amazing women in the pageant system and I am lucky to now have many as my friends.

Besides the work there is a ton of financial responsibility that comes with a pageant. By the time the average contestant competes she has often paid for professional pictures, a graphic designer to do her advertisement page, expensive hair styling, a nice interview suit, several hundred dollars on an evening gown, fitness wear/swimsuit, an opening number dress, several pairs of shoes, several pairs of 4 inch earrings and other accessories, makeup, spray tan, fake eyelashes, fake boobs, spanks(or other slimmers), and several professional outfits for meetings and rehearsals. For those who are serious about pageants there are interview coaches and image consultants to teach you how to compete. Contestants are encouraged to find sponsors to help cover the cost but that too adds up to more work.

As in most competitions it is rare to find someone who excels the first time they compete and pageantry is no exception. The gal who won the title on Saturday, Melanie DeMure, Mrs. Sun Valley, has done pageants for many years and has already been Mrs. California International. It is not unusual for women to compete in a couple pageants a year. There were several women who in my pageant who had already competed in four or five pageants previously. I guess practice makes perfect.

All in all, I am very pleased with my performance. I lost 13 pounds putting me at my high school weight even after having four babies. I bought all my modest, competition clothes on clearance and did not feel out of place with the other women on stage. I represented myself well even when the answers weren't what the judges were looking for. And I made some seriously cool friends.

Thank you again to all my friends and family who have encouraged and supported me on this crazy learning experience.

Tired of rehearsing (9:30 am to 10:30 pm):

pageant friends:

My page in the program:

Evening gown:






Fitness wear

Interview Day:

With Kiwanis Club (my biggest sponsor):

Vote if you want

If you go to this website you can vote for me for a pageant popularity contest. Not a big deal, but you can if you want. I can't wait to see everyone on Saturday! Wish me luck!

http://www.tftj.com/News/Poll_Vote.htm/213

Cold Feet

For as long as I can remember I have experienced a biological phenomenon that I have yet to read about in any text book or medical journal. I am therefore naming it pedipolarism. The symptoms are as follows; whatever I have done in a day and whatever time I choose to go to bed, simply because I have decided to go to bed, my feet become freezing cold. And because they are cold they will, by natural response, seek another source of heat (usually my husband's legs) to reach a thermal equilibrium. I have decided to do some very scientific research, by posting this to my blog, and see how many other women suffer from this uncomfortable diagnosis.

Catwalk

Here are a few pictures of my fist (and only) fashion show. It was at the Karcher Mall and was, of course, for the pageant. I am happy to say, I didn't fall, even when my four inch heel went through a crack in the runway. It wasn't as nerve wrecking as I was anticipating.

The Case of The Missing Mouse

A few posts ago I mentioned a bazaar happening at our house. We had set some mouse traps only to find that the next morning one of the traps had completely disappeared. There was a smudge of blood along one of our baseboards but the trap was gone. We even pulled out the oven to see if the mouse had somehow dragged the trap under there, but all we found were hairballs, crayons and general nastiness (as if that isn't gross enough with out looking for a mortally wounded, half dead mouse). It grossed me out all day so when Paxton came back home I had him pull out the oven again but I wanted him to look behind the cabinets. So, he went and got a flashlight and crawled into a corner behind our lazy susan. Back there, he found a lemon sized hole chewed in the drywall and a bloody trap sitting outside of it. I guess the mouse had been caught in the trap, somehow dragged the under the stove, behind the cabinets where it got stuck at the hole in the wall. Then somehow it got rid of the trap, crawled in the hole and died somewhere in the walls. So, I am supposing that somewhere we have (not skeletons in the closet) but skeletons in our walls. There also was a suspiciously bad smell coming from a room on the other side of the house that Paxton suspects was the remains of the mouse. For someone who likes their house neat and organized, that very though makes me want to gag. I don't think there is a moral of this story, nor is it useful in anyway. However I hope it is enough to scare away any other mice that should contemplate entering our home. Seriously, seriously gross...

Here fishy fishy...

While we were in Utah for my sister's wedding we decided to tryout the Living Planet aquarium in Utah. It was really cool. The kids had a blast and were talking about it for days. Even if you ask Bryce about it now he will say, "I got to pet a sting ray but they took off the stinger and they feel kind of like hot dogs." Anyway, if you are around there I would definitely recommend it.
There was a medium sized shark tank:

And a ray pet tank:


This was some kind of eel:

This is a clown fish (or a nemo). These have always been my favorite since I was a kid and would go snorkeling in the Red Sea. They are really playful little fish and aren't too shy.