A White Christmas

I think that from now on Christmas will be a little bitter sweet for me. It is hard not to wish that I would be setting out one more stocking or buying 12 month old blue clothes. The day after Christmas we took Paxton's brother and his wife to see Colin's headstone. I was so disappointed to find the entire cemetery buried in a foot of ice crusted snow. After stomping around for twenty disheartening minutes we finally found our little boy's headstone. It is still hard for me to be there but I think this time it was a little easier.


The other 95% of our Christmas was wonderful. We made a giant snow tortoise and Christmas tree shaped sandwiches. We celebrated Paxton's 32nd birthday on Christmas ever and went through the new Twin Fall's temple. We played games till one in the morning and had awesome Quigley down home cooking. And of course it wouldn't be an Idaho holiday without shooting something.




We were only able to get our Christmas card out to family this year (I'm breaking Paxton in slowly) but for my wonderful friends, here is our Christmas letter.

Twas the week before Christmas and all through our house
Every creature was stirring, even the mouse (that has taken up residence in the wall of our family room and we can’t seem to get rid of.)
The children were busy with parties and school
And I was so tired I was starting to drool.

But rather than sleeping I sat down to write
In hopes that our letter would bring some delight.
So if my rhyming is off, there is not need to fear
I will still try to give you the gist of this year.

We are happy in Boise and let it be told,
We are putting down roots here (inspite of the cold.)
We are loving our house, residing in harmony
And are making ends meet, despite the economy.

Avery’s our diva and busy is she
She thinks that she’s sixteen but is actually three.
We love to watch her with her golden red curls
And know that we’re blessed with the cutest of girls.

Bryce is our athlete, all about speed.
He also surprised us with his talent to read.
He is handsome and loving, his momma’s sweet boy
And Hot Wheels and race cars are his choice of toy.

Shaylee is six and the neighborhood cutie.
Her sweetness and talents just add to her beauty.
She is a wonderful student and does well in school
But Mom’s glad, to her, boys still aren’t that cool.

Last year with Micron, Paxton got hired
And despite their finances, we haven’t been fired.
He hopes since his work is not all that exciting
That in his dune buggy he soon will be riding.

I’m keeping busy with math, kids and cooking
And trying to blog when no one is looking.
I also have learned to keep tedium at bay
By buying a motorcycle last Mother’s Day.

This year has been good to us, one of the best
And there’s no doubt in our minds that we truly are blessed.
With best wishes to all, we’ll sign with our squigglies,
Merry Christmas to you, with love,
From the Quigley’s

Jinx

I supposed I jinxed myself. By saying that I was going to try my best to be happy I should have known that I was tempting fate (like wearing a white shirt and eating pizza). I have a huge 4ft X 4ft painting that I have been making for a friend. Just yesterday I was told my friend that I would have her painting done by Tuesday before we left for Christmas. Today, another of my friends gave us their old key board that I was going to put in our study and I moved the painting temporarily to fit the keyboard in a spot against the wall. Five minutes later I was saying goodbye to my friend when my older daughter came running yelling that my three year old had ripped a hole in my painting. I came in to find two six and one inch slices in my painting. My daughter had jumped from a chair on to the painting that had been leaning up against the desk. I didn't yell or scream or swear (though tempted to do all three at once) and quietly sent her to time out.

THEN I decided to get pizza since it was late and I was using all my energy trying not to turn into the She Hulk. I came home and was getting the pizza ready when my littlest daughter got into an Avon box I had stupidly left with in her reach. She promptly opened the box with all the delicacy of a three-year-old, flinging the pieces of the broken bracelet, that I was going to return, into the land of all lost articles that include my keys, spoons and single socks that will never be seen again. (I didn't yell or scream but counted to ten and not so quietly sent her to time out).

THEN I went to put the pizza in the oven and somehow misjudged the 18 inches that I had to slide the pizza into the oven. The pizza buckled, folded in half and ended up in a pile on the door of my oven. So, on top of my garbage disposal that had broken that morning, I get to clean out my oven. (I didn't yell or scream and only swore in my head and then held my breath until I was in control.)

Despite fate's determination to ruin my goal, I will kiss my kids good night, smile when my husband walks in the door and go to bed early before something else happens. Besides, I have a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow.

The List Continued

I don't want to repeat anything but in my effort to remain up beat through Christmas sometimes I can use a laugh. Some of you guys have seen this before but I thought I put it back up for those who hadn't (besides I added a few).

I like to keep track of funny things that my kids make me say. You know when see your two year old approach your dog with a purple marker and then you hear yourself yell, "Don't color the dog!"
Did I really just say that? I must think that at least once a day so I started writing them down. I call this The List.

1. It’s not ok to draw on your brother
2. Please don’t lick the van
3. Fish don’t need toilet paper
4. I told you not to lick your dad’s razor
5. I guess when you eat something upside down it comes out your nose
6. Our VCR had a car accident
7. If you put your fingers in his mouth it is not his fault if he bites you
8. Bryce mooned the missionaries today
9. You cut your hair... again
10. No, you’re supposed to pee BEHIND the bush
11. Why are you wearing your brother’s underwear?
12. Please don’t put carrots up your nose
13. Who put a cow in our toaster
14. I don’t know what snot is for
15. Yes, he did look kind of like a porcupine
16. Please don’t bark at people we don’t know.
17. Get the turtle out of your mouth
18. Did you say she flushed Lighting McQueen?
19. Get the turtle out of the refrigerator.
20. He wants to be a transformer when he grows up.
21. What have you done that is good today? No, that was not a trick question.
22. No, he does not have six babies in his tummy.
23. I’m going crazy…. No, you can’t come.
24. yeah, maybe if you save your nickels you can buy a helicopter someday
25. That is glue, not chapstick.
26. Who drew smiley faces on the toilet paper?
27. A candy covered caramel apple is a cruel gift to give to a six-year old with out any front teeth.
28. Just because Mommy said it doesn't mean you can (I said "stupid" while I was driving)
29. Your daughter pulled the chandelier out of the ceiling today.
30. I don't suppose you can sleep with sand in your underwear.
31. Please stop saying "wiener" at the dinner table.

Kids can be way too much fun...

A gift

Alright Guys, I guess it is time to practice what I preach. Many of you know that I firmly believe that happiness is a choice. It is something I have worked a lot on in the past eighteen months. Last night I was laying in bed, dreading the insane business of my schedule the next day and I said to my husband, "I am so busy that I haven't been able to enjoy anything about Christmas yet." Not good, when I get too busy and too stressed I know that I get snappy, irrational, overly-sensitive, and grouchy (not to mention that I eat way too much chocolate). So, I have decided that, come what may in the next ten days, I am going to give my family the gift of having a happy mom. I'll let you know how it goes.

(This is a clip of something I wrote a while ago about a theory I have. It is a bit long but I promise you some laughs.)

It is a fact that the mood of the Mom spreads through a house like a smell, be it apple pie or burnt toast. A grouchy mom can put a whole family on edge within seconds of stepping in the house. Or, in reverse, a happy mom can create an atmosphere of calm and peace even when the world is storming outside.

We, as mothers, find ourselves in the unique position of possessing the ability of controlling the climate of our domestic domain. Imagine what the emotional forecast is in your house. When we are grouchy and cold, our household weatherman maybe calling for freezing temperatures and sleet. When we are sad our forecast calls for three days of rain and lightning. Perhaps, when we are irritable and short tempered the Doppler screen shows winds exceeding 90 mph and a tornado watch. Nasty weather is something that makes everyone miserable.

I am a sunshine girl. I love feeling the sun on my skin. When the sun is shining and the day is glorious, I could spend all day outside playing with kids, gardening, barbequing with friends, or chatting at my husband. Even an overcast day or some rain here and there add variety and makes me appreciate the sunshine again. I have lived in heat and humidity, in hurricanes and snow drifts but days of incessant cold, rain, thunder, and lightning make even a trip to the cannery seem inviting.

People actively seek out nice climates. That is why no one plans a vacation to Greenland but you could pay a fortune for a postage stamp size piece of California. So, how excited do you think a husband is to come home to a house with a temperature that is fifteen below zero? Or how happy are kids when Mom’s personal forecast is blistering hot with 90% humidity?

There was one difficult time when my husband had been gone on a work trip for several days. I had had a very hard time with three kids, ages three and under, while he was gone. When he came home I was so mad and stressed I hardly recognized he was there. Rather than expressing my appreciation for him and how glad I was that he was home, I was angry over something that inconvenience me and that he had no control over. It took some good communication on his part to make me realize that I was punishing him with my bad mood (hurricane Jaymie) even though he had done his best under the circumstances.

Unfortunately, our kids and husbands are most often the ones that take the brunt of Mom’s bad mood. Have you ever worked for someone what was never pleased with your work? Someone that only told you what you were doing wrong? Or would throw you under the bus when things went wrong? My husband used to be an auditor and trust me; people don’t like it. It really isn’t any more fair when we do that to our family. When we spend the day yelling, demanding, and blaming others when things go wrong, nobody wins.

As my children have grown I am amazed at the strange, subtle, and not-so-subtle way that my kids respond to me. Through trial and error (mostly error) I have learned to recognize characteristics that pop up in my children when they are reacting to my mood. One child becomes sassy, another becomes overly needy and the last becomes reckless to the point of injury. (Names are withheld to protect the guilty).

It probably wasn’t until my kids were two and three that I began to realize that my children’s behavior often reflected my own. When my house was chaotic and messy, they were less likely to clean up after themselves. When I yelled, they yelled more and listened less. When I was snappy with them they were snappy with each other. There was undeniably a correlation. I finally realized had been blaming my mood on my kids’ behavior rather than the other way around.

Family Pictures

Nice, we got these just in time for Christmas! AND I think Paxton will OK doing real (not E-cards) Christmas cards this year.
We also had to take these after being rained out the first day and with about 15 min notice on the second day. At least they turned out cute!

Dinner Time

Here is a recap of our dinner conversation tonight:

Bryce: Dad, if I ever see an alien is it OK if I punch it in the wiener?
Me: Bryce, please don't use potty talk, especially at dinner. Now eat.
Bryce: But Dad didn't answer my question.
Paxton:What was the question?
Bryce: If I ever see an alien is it OK if I punch it in the wiener?
Avery: What's a wiener?
Paxton: How do you even know if aliens have wieners?
Me: Bryce do you even know what a wiener is?
Bryce: Yeah it's the part right-
Me: Never mind, don't talk, just eat.
Avery (holding up a bite of salmon): Is this a wiener?
Me: No, that is fish. Now eat it.
Avery: Is it a fish's wiener?
Paxton (laughing): No, fish don't have wieners.
Avery: Oh, is it it's head.
Me (glaring at Paxton): No more talking. Eat your dinner please.
Avery (holding up another bite): Is this part the fish wiener?
Me: Can I please be excused?

All's far in Love, War and Christmas Lights

Could someone please invent Christmas lights that never tangle, come in any color you want, and when a bulb burns out have it be the one and only light that is out so you don't have go guess which one it is until your fingers are sore and bleeding and you get mad and throw the whole strand away anyway? It that really too much to ask? I would place them high in my esteem (next to the guy who invented non-breakable ornaments and mint chocolate candy canes!)

PS I really did throw out six sets of Christmas lights and there would have been more except the other broken ones are stuck to my pre-lit tree. How's that for Christmas spirit... Ba Humbug!

Quote of the week

Avery (age 3): Daddy, I brought you a drink. Don't worry there aren't any guppies in it.

If you knew my daughter this would make you rethink everything you have consumed in the past 24 hours.

A word to the wise

I wish for the life of me that I didn't have to be the one to write this but, I think that, because of my unique experiences, I might be able to do something that others can't. Last week a friend of mine lost her baby after being 22 weeks pregnant. This was the first time that something like this has happened to someone close to me and after spending sometime with her and remembering where I was a year ago, I thought I would offer some words of advice to those who want to help and don't know what to do.
These are only from my own experience and are in no particular order:

1. Don't ask "How are you doing?" There were times when I though, "My baby just died but thanks for asking."
Do: Say, "I've been thinking of you," or "It's good to see you." Let her bring it up how she is feeling if she chooses and carry on as normal if not.

2. Don't hug her(especially at church)unless you are very close. There is something about hugging someone that is very personal and when you are just trying to hold it together a hug can break a fragile facade.
Do: Give her a hand squeeze or a pat on the arm can communicate what you need without seeming invasive.

3. Don't tell her about all of your sad stories. Sometimes other people's problems can be very overwhelming when you are struggling with your own.
Do: Write her a note telling her how much you love and admire her. Tell you she has a beautiful family and you are so grateful to have her as a friend. If you have been there you can say, "I've been there and I'm sorry." If you haven't been there just a little note saying, "I've been thinking about you," with some cookies would be great.
Leave it on the doorstep or a note in the mail box so they don't have to face you if they aren't feeling up to it.

4. Don't pretend that nothing happened. This can be very difficult because, as the mom, there are sometimes you want to talk about it and other times you don't want it brought up.
Do: If the mom bring the subject up, use the baby's name if it was given one. Include them as part of the family if that is what the mom does. One of the worst fears for a mother is that their child is forgotten just because they aren't here.

5. Don't be preachy. For me it was very hard to have people say, "Just keep praying and have faith." Like I hadn't been praying almost constantly for the last six months. It was hard for me to hear people say, "I have never been through anything like this but we know that with faith and because of our knowledge of eternal families that you will heal from this." It made me feel like everything was supposed to be OK if I had faith and I wasn't OK so I must have been doing something wrong.
Do: Love and serve them while giving them room to heal. Bring them a frozen dinner or a card or flowers and reaffirm that they are wonderful people and that you are there if they need anything.

Every person will grieve differently and heal differently so don't judge someone by some unknown healing time line. Losing a child, however long you have known them, is painful and traumatic. The thing that helped me the most were the prayers, love and support of my friends and family. I needed the people who said, "You are amazing," "What a good husband you have," "your children are adorable." Somehow if you hear it enough it helps hold you up.

There isn't a set thing to say or any magic words that will always help but time and love from wonderful friends can make things just a little more bearable. So once again, thank you so much to my many wonderful friends who helped carry my load and lessen my heartache.

cheetah!

While we are on the topic of food art (see Bryce's creation in the last post) I made this for our little friend Chloe's jungle birthday party. It's a cheetah in case you can't tell. For my DIY cake mom's it is cut up from two round cakes.

A gift from a boy

While I was tutoring, Bryce asked me to open a jar of peanut butter. I opened it and handed it back thinking he was going to eat some with a spoon for a snack. When I finished with my student,Bryce found me and told me he made a surprise for me but that I had to close my eyes. I closed my eyes (peeking just enough to not run into anything) and e lead me back into the kitchen. When I opened my eyes I found this stuck to the counter.


He told me it was a peanut-butter-cracker temple. He designed and engineered it all by his little five year old himself just for me. Could you seriously ask for a better gift than a temple? I will admit, though I didn't eat it, I transferred it to a paper plate and kept it out on the counter for a couple days. It made me smile every time I looked at it. I love my sweet little boy!

Evolution of Packman

Here is how we went about building Paxton's Packman costume:

The frame: $15 and three 1/2 hours












The skin: $4.50 (thanks to the ward for letting us recycle their vinyl table cloths) and 4 hours

















The harness and details: $2 and 1 hour












Having all the kids at trunk-or-treat yell, "Hey, there is a huge piece of cheese": Priceless


PS: Paxton won his work Halloween contest! At least I get free movie tickets for my labor.

The Mystery of the Disappearing Tortoise

I would like to consider myself a fairly intelligent person but for the life of me I can't figure this one out. And being a math tutor, it is driving me crazy to have a problem that I can't solve. So, if you have any ideas I would be happy to hear them.

Here is the background info:
Last Christmas we got a pet tortoise that was more expensive than I care to admit in public. The kids did so well with him (Tuga) that we tried a dog the following spring (for more info see last post). Obviously that one didn't go so well but in keeping track of the dog I often lost track of the tortoise. So, Tuga would be lost for a few days and then he would appear out of no where after. The longest he was lost during the summer was about two weeks when I found him wandering around upstairs after I had searched the entire house. (I have no idea what he was eating up there but I found evidence that he had been under Shaylee's bed for some amount of time.)

Soon after Tuga went missing again I searched for him all over but after about two months I gave up hope. I was even so pessimistic as to have Paxton move our mattress when there was a suspicious smell coming from under my bed which ended up being from some smelly plant water. After we got rid of Red I promised the kids we could go get another tortoise since it is the only pet Paxton will agree to. So about a week ago we headed off the the pet store and purchased Tu-Tuga (My dad said it sounds like a Polynesian football player). She has been a good little pet.

Now this is where things get weird. Last night I was getting after the kids for racing around downstairs while holding the turtle when I looked down past Bryce and saw another tortoise on the floor. I checked again and Bryce still had the first tortoise in his hand. I gasped, the kids screamed and poor Tuga was mauled. My brain has been trying to figure out how this all could have come about and this is what I have figured. When I picked him up he was noticeably colder than Tu-Tuga, so it is likely he had been outside since he was so cold. Also, I don't know how he could have lived in the house with out regular food for that long. Assuming he was outside, the only way he could have gotten back into the house is if one of the kids brought him in. Shaylee and Bryce were definitely surprised so I questioned Avery and this is what I got.

Me: Avery did you find Tuga?
Avery:Yeah, he's right there? (pointing to the turtle)
Me: Did you find him outside?
Avery: Yeah, outside.
Me: Can you show me where you found him?
Avery: "Yeah,there's outside." (Taking me to our sliding back door)
Me: (Exasperated) "Avery, how did Tuga get in the house?"
Avery: (thoughtfully) "Ummm, he jumped over the fence."

There you have it. All the info and clues I can find. If anyone has any ideas of how this possibly could have worked I would value your input. (My only other idea is that he has been abducted by aliens and then returned to us in between experiments.)

This one is Tu-Tuga:

Doggon it (2)

It is true. We have gotten rid of our lovable dog Red. He really was the calmest, sweetest, most beautiful dog ever but after trying to work this out for six months I threw in the towel. Red was an outside dog which was fine until he realized he could jump our fence. Then when I couldn't keep him in the yard anymore I tried to bring him in the house and had a horrid time trying to house break him when Paxton was gone all the time and I was trying to tutor and run the kids everywhere. So, we found a nice him for him with a higher fence and kids to play with. For those of you contemplating pets, I have to say that our tortoise as been the best... no special food, no noise, no shedding, minimal clean up and too slow to run away from the kids. Now if I could just figure out where he scooted off to... If reptiles aren't your thing, I found this list. It is pretty funny:

Top Ten Low Maintenance Pets
1. Goldfish/ put them in a bowl with a fake plant, throw in food, call it good.
2. Earthworm/ strange and hardly move, easy to keep in a jar or can
3. Ladybug/ they're cute and little and probably eat grass
4. Neighborhood cat (not feral) / not your pet, not your problem
5. Imaginary Dog/ creative and fun and very well trained
6. Stuffed Squirrel / throw some business at your local taxidermist. they're cuddly and furry and never bite.
7. House Fly / these little guys only live 36-48 hours, but they're replaceable and are actually quite friendly.
8. Bee in a Jar/ great for metaphorical lessons, fun for the kids.\
9. Ant Farm/ you can buy them in a kit, on the internets.
10. Sea Monkeys/ even brine shrimp now have their own fansite and why shouldn't they? These are the best pets ever!

I have to say my favorites are the neighborhood cat (thanks Cougar), the imaginary dog (although mine was an imaginary peacock), and the worms (be cautious of washing them a Slimy will slide right down the drain).

Deep Questions from Bryce

Just a few profound thoughts:

Bryce: Why do horses always show their teeth when they smile?

Bryce: If we can't keep our dog because our fence is too small then can we get a smaller dog so that the fence is too big?

Bryce: Mom can someone come to play?
Me: No Bryce, you're sick.
Bryce: Well can't I play with someone else who is already sick?

Shout it Out!

Alright my fellow bloggers, I admit I had kind of a grouchy weekend and in a effort to get through this bad mood detour have been trying to change my attitude. Today I feel like I have done it and I just have to shout out how truly blessed I am. I have the most precious children I could ever dream of. They are intelligent, beautiful, and (most importantly) super sweet. My husband is the man of my dreams in every way. He is the greatest joy in my life and in every way my soulmate. I have an incredible family that I love for being the wacky, fun-loving people that they are. My parents are exceptional and I will be forever devoted to them for wisdom, advice and occasional bad joke. My in-laws rock and I am lucky to be accepted as part of their family. My friends are my personal guardian angles that keep me happy, grounded, and from doing anything too irrational. I love my life and thank God for the serious blessings He has poured into our home. Life is good and I will spend the day dancing in my kitchen with my adorable kids with the music cranked up! If life is good for you too, try shouting it out. I'll listen.

Love at Home!

This is a recap of my sister's FHE with her 3 yr old son.

Caleb throwing a tantrum and yelling that we have to sing "Love is Spoken Here." Caleb being threatened with a spanking for his tantrum on said subject.

Caleb sobbing while singing "Families Can Be Together Forever" with his disgruntled parents.

Caleb's reply when asked where he lived before he was born: "Hawaii."

Caleb's reply to my inquiry about where people go if they aren't very nice on Earth: "Illinois."

Caleb's definitions for the following:
Celestial Kingdom: Where you get ice cream; where Jesus and Heavenly Father live and people share toys.

Terrestrial Kingdom: Where popsicles fall of their sticks sometimes before you can eat them and people share their toys most of the time.

Telestial Kingdom: Where people poke you in the arm and don't share their toys very often.

Outer Darkness: Where the lights are never turned on and you have to stay in bed; where people don't share their toys.

Motherhood lesson learned today:

A candy-covered, caramel apple is a cruel gift to a six-year-old without any front teeth.

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me...

Saturday afternoon I came down from a nap to find a pile of pizza toppings on the counter top. Knowing that Shaylee does not like pineapple I deduced that she had helped herself to the leftover pizza and pulled the toppings off. I commented as much and Paxton confirmed my suspicion. Since I don't believe in wasting food, I helped myself to the toppings. When I had halfway swallowed my mouthful Paxton looked up at me and yelled, "Don't eat that! Shaylee had worm guts all over her hands and pulled the pizza toppings off before she washed them." Chalk it up to developing my immune system I guess...

Like Father, Like Son

This morning I found Bryce in the garage lifting one pound weights. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was exercising so he could be big and strong like Daddy. I had to get a picture of his muscles that have the circumference of a Ritz Cracker.



Shaylee has definitely inherited my atisitic streak but I have never considered using toilet paper as a medium before.

No Peeing!

We were driving home from a park when I heard Shaylee say, "No Peeing."
Concerned I asked her what she was talking about. She said, "That sign said NO PEEING." Being fairly familiar with the terrain I asked her, "What sign?" She said, "The sign back there had a P with a big, red, cross through it." She was disillusioned when I told her that it meant No Parking. Although I did get a laugh when it crossed my mind what a "No Peeing" sign might look like.

Surf's up!

After three years, I have finally decorated Shaylee's bed room. She is so excited to have her own room and I am more excited to finally be finished with it.

Out of the mouths of Mothers

For my quotes for this last week I though I would use some of my favorite quotes from some of my friends:

B:"I swear when I'm pregnant my brain just doesn't work, you know like the other day I was... uh... what was I saying?"

J:"Where did I put that poop?"

M:"I sometimes I really just have to tune out Sacrament meeting, that is the only was I can go back the next week."

N:"I think you lose brain cells in labor and that is why you think you want more kids."

About Annie

OK, this is from one of my good college friends who has the best attitude of anyone I know. However since I am on a mission to find humor in motherhood I wanted to share this since it seriously cracked me up.

Omentum Momentum

I have omentum momentum. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. My omentum is growing ever so slightly, but steadily. Did you know that if your omentum gets big, it is the most dangerous fat in your body? Mine doesn't seem to care. Stupid omentum. I tell it not too, but it's like, "NOoooooooOO! YOU had to go and eat a fifth bowl of icecream." Like it's my fault. I believe my omentum is telling me to do these ridiculous things against my will. Like I wanted to eat the icecream. Like I thought mint chocolate chip with extra chocolate syrup for the fifth night in a row tasted good or something. Stupid omentum. My omentum hates me. The feeling is mutual....

Quote of the Day

While a 3 yr old little BOY named Cameron Bird was playing at our house.

Avery: Cam is my sister
Cameron (insensed): No!!! I'm Bryce's sister
Avery: You can be my sister too
Cameron (thoughfully): Ok, only if I can jump on your trampoline

For the ladies

Alright Girls, I have to share this article on the female side of marital intimacy. I have spoken with this author (who is LDS) and she is wonderful. She gives great information in a very respectful but straight forward way and doesn't shy around subjects. It is great for anyone that wants to make their marriage awesome. She has a ton of articles on her sight so browse around when you get there. I especially agree with her thoughts on how our sexuality is a wonderful part of being a woman and when we embrace it rather than shy away it can really enhance our self esteem. I know I can pin point when I figured that out and that it has made a huge difference in my confidence and thus happiness. I think we should change the axiom to: I am woman hear me purr...

http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/

Mountain Home Airshow

Our friend flew an Apache helicopter in the airshow and then gave us a personal tour after (Thanks Bunnell's). I think letting six kids climb all over it is a good way to test it's durability in times of war. (I was worried that the copter could make it through Afghanistan only to be wrecked by my kids.)

National Repentance Day

This one cracked me up pretty good today:

Shaylee: Mom I saw a real tarantula today!
Me: Was it at school?
Shaylee: Yes, one of teachers brought it in to celebrate the special day today.
Me: What day is today?
Shaylee: I think it is Rep.. uh... Repentance Day.
Me: Oh, you mean a country's Independence Day.
Shaylee: Yeah, that's it.
Me (to Paxton): I think we could use a National Repentance Day.

Doggone it

I try so hard to keep our kids from saying things like dumb, and stupid and then something like this comes up.

Me: Avery, What kind of dog do we have?
Avery: A dumb dog
Me: No, that isn't it.
Avery: But that is what Daddy said.


PS We did eventually find our tortoise after two weeks. I think he was trying to run away. (Not that I can blame him.)

Thanks Ya'll

I have to say that I have the best friends and family in the whole world. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, the shoulders to cry on, the flowers, chocolate and Diet DP. I honestly could not have made it through all this without my personal guardian angels that I have the privileged of calling my friends. I love you all so very much.

Enough sentimental stuff though and back to my eternal quest to find humor in motherhood!

Quotes of the week:

Bryce: "Mom, why didn't you name me Jackie Chan-Master Monkey?"

Avery: "Mom, it's pink!"
Me: with dread... "What's pink?"
Avery: My bathtub.
Me: After immediate inspection, "You poured red Crystal Light in your bath water?"
Aver: "Yeah, it's pink, my favorite."

Perspecitve

Tomorrow it will be one year since we lost our little Colin. It will be one year since I didn't get to bring my baby home from the hospital, since I didn't get to have a baby shower with tiny blue clothes, since I didn't get to have my family gather for a baby blessing. Instead I have a tiny head stone in the middle of some beautiful farm land and a scar on my stomach to remind me of my son.

I know that there must be people who wonder how I am doing but don't want to ask for fear of causing more pain so, I though I would tell my friends and family frankly how I have been doing for the last year. I want to do this not because I want pity, in fact pity is something that is hard for me to take, but because I have realized that almost everyone will know someone who has to go through something like this or (heaven forbid) have it happen to themselves.

To give a bit of background, I had bleeding problems the before I even knew I was pregnant and it only got worse from there. In the first four months of pregnancy we thought we had miscarried four different times. As soon as we were given the all clear and were told we were out of danger, my water broke when I was only 16 weeks pregnant. Up till that point I had tried to hold off loving this little being because it hurt so badly. Ironically only after finding out that everything was lost did I open my heart and fall completely in love with my tiny baby. After many tears and as many prayers we decided to continue the pregnancy despite the risks of infection. Despite horrid physical and emotional trauma we made it ten more weeks before I went into labor. The delivery was one from hell. We chose a C-section to give Colin any chance we could. The C-section was an "emergency C-section" done under general anesthetic. I can't even communicate how awful and traumatic that night was. I awoke in a lot of pain, and to have the my husband come in and tell me that our baby boy was alive but was slowly fading.

We had made the choice before that if we should find ourselves in this scenario that we would take him off life support and have our last minutes be peaceful with out machines and tubes. Our wonderful bishop actually worked was a respiratory therapist for the NICU and was there with us. He and my husband have our baby a name and a blessing, laying two fingers each on his little head. Then the bishop detached my tiny, tiny baby from the machines and placed him on my chest. That was the only time I got to see him. He was less than two pounds but was so beautiful in his tiny perfection. He had fingernails and perfectly shaped lips and a wrinkle in his ear just like me and I still marvel at how amazing and wonderful that little body was. After about ten minutes I said goodbye and was wheeled out of the room.

I have had people unknowingly say, "At least you knew so you could be prepared." But there isn't any way you can prepare for something like that. I can't think it is any easier to lose a child after a long fight that it is to loose one suddenly. The pain seems like it is more than you can handle and you pray to just survive one more hour and that the next day might be a little better than the last.

I believe that I cried all day on and off for the first month. After that I would have a few good days and a few bad days and slowly the good days became more and the bad days less. I cried myself to sleep every night for nine months and probably once a week since then. I don't know if the pain has really diminished or if my capacity to handle it has increased. I still think of my baby every day. I think of him when I see a baby boy that would be his age. My arms ache when see newborns in blue blankets. I tear up when I see little brothers dressed in the same outfits as my boys will never be.

But I knew that even in this stage I had a choice. I can see how this kind of grief could end a marriage or rip a family apart. But for us it did the opposite. I found a deeper faith than I ever new existed. I found a more deep, amazing and wonderful love for my husband. And a greater appreciation for my beautiful children. I knew that I could get through this with help from God, family and friends. And somehow I guess I have.

I know I am a different person that I was a year ago and for those changes I am grateful. I think because of the depth of my sorrow I have been able to find even greater amounts of joy. I know that I will see my little son again someday and that he is still very much a part of our family. I believe that real miracles don't always happen as we expect. Instead of looking for miracles when things go wrong maybe we should appreciate the miracle of so many things going right.


For Colin, with a mothers love
10/10/07

Some people sing of angels
But I held one in my hand
He was as pure and clean and beautiful
As only an angle can

I longed to keep him here with me
And though I loved him so
I knew he didn't belong here
So, I let my angel go

Sometimes when my heart is still
I know I miss him most
And I think about the time I had
To hold my angel close

And I know that God must love me
And I know how blessed I am
To not just sing of angels
But to have held one in my hand.

By Jaymie Quigley

Flower Girl Avery

Hottie Wife

[Paxton] I just wanted to show off my hottie wife. No wonder she had a flock of 16 year old boys following her around EFY.

Kindergarten

Here is another good conversation:

Me: Bryce, how was Kindergarten?
Bryce: Good! Do I get to go to it for 21 days?
Me: More like 100 days.
Bryce: Wow!!!
Me: Actually more like 200 days?
Bryce: Do I get to go there forever?
Me: No, if your really good you will get to go to 1st grade.
Bryce: Then do I get to stay in school forever?
Me: Only if you want to be a doctor.
Bryce: Oh.... I want to be a scout leader.
Me: Ok, then just get through Kindergarten.

Of Penguins and Seals

Can you spot the evidence that we have let the kids watch too many Blue Planet movies?

Get it to go!

We traveled down to Utah last weekend (my brother got married) and of course had to stop for fast food on the way down. I think fast food is chemically engineered to smell amazing when you are hungry. That is the only reason I can account for wanting it. Inevitably I smell it, buy it, eat it and then wonder why I ate it. Anyway, we bought dinner and our total came out to $35! Ridiculous! And the kids didn't even eat half of their dinner. So, after repeating this scenario several times over our trip I have decided to rebel... Next time we head out I am going to order a Papa John's pizza and pick it up on our way out. Once it cools off a bit I can pass it around with napkins and call it good. It is no messier than greasy fries and ketchup, it is cheaper, healthier, and I don't get the grease chills after I eat it. I'll let you know how it goes...

By the way, here are some wedding pictures!

Quote of the Week

"Shaylee, you are six and are way too old to be licking a shopping cart."

For everyone who has ever felt like a bad mom...

If you have ever had a moment when you feel that you have been less than stellar in your role of motherhood consider this:

Avery: Mom, it yucky.
Me: What was yucky?
Avery: da battery
Me: Which battery?
Avery: Dis one, (handing me a very corroded battery I had thrown away earlier that day)
it's yucky don't eat it (while she is rubbing her tongue on the back of her hand.

Whatever mistakes anyone else has made, at least you didn't let your daughter eat battery acid.

Orange Jaylius

My Dad used to make these when I was a kid and call them Jaylius (his name is Jay). I think I corrected people who tried to call them Julius until I was in high school. They are a fun treat anyway:

Ingredients

• 6 ounces frozen orange juice concentrate
• 1 cup milk, lowfat okay
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 8 ice cubes

Water-Melon

Night before last I was up four times during the night (one of those was for an hour) with our little Avery. It wasn't because she was sick or had a nightmare. It was simply because of watermelon.
Paxton decided to let our kids have watermelon for desert the other night. Our kids love watermelon so they were really excited and consumed about three pieces each after which we promptly brushed their teeth and put them in bed.

Moral of the story: Limit watermelon consumption withing three hours of bedtime.

What good is Calculus?

Me: Bryce are you excited to start school?
Bryce: Yeah, I want to be a teacher.
Me: What are you going to teach?
Bryce: I want to teach everyone how to snap!
Me: That seems to have more practical application than Calculus.
Bryce: Mom, why didn't you have a teacher to teach you how to whistle?
Me: Alright, rub it in...

Where did the summer go?

I just got back from an awesome trip to Fresno, CA for EFY. It was a blast and the kids were wonderful. But now I find myself wondering about all the grand plans I had for the summer and how I managed to get so little done.

For those of you who don't have kids in school yet I have a word of advice. Once you have to work around school schedules it seems like a wonderful deadline free summer will leave voids of time to get things done. So not true. I guess I have gotten used to only having all three kids some of the time and when that shifts into all of the time the messes and house work seem to expand exponentially. Add to that all the things that seem so fun that I have to cram our weeks full and say things like, "I paid for this pass and you are going to have fun whether you like it or not!" and all the jobs I had planned for the summer are still on my To Do list. Go figure...

Elephant Painting

I finished this in time for it to be a very late Father's Day present. It is acrylic on canvas and is my second real painting. It reminds me of when we went on safari in Kenya, one of the many adventures that reminds me of Dad.

EFY and such

So, I got back from teaching at my first EFY. It was awesome but hard. I learned some valuable lessons in teaching that I feel obliged to pass on.

First: Don't wear many layers while standing in front of hundreds of teenagers in a hot badly air conditioned room and especially don't do it if there is a chance of panicking. That combination can lead to overheating and possibly passing out (which leaves all those teenagers unsupervised and can create potential problems).

Second: If given weird answers from class members concerning something that you have no expertise ie) global warming as a way that Satan is taking away our agency, an good answer is, "You know, I don't know much about (insert weird topic like global warming), I'm just here to teach the gospel. But I appreciate your comment."

Third: If you get a rambler (someone who doesn't seem to know how to stop their comment)
for example:
Me: what are somethings that happen that make you angry?
Boy: You know when there are guys that try to flirt with girls by doing dumb things like taking their water bottles when there are other guys that are really trying to do nice things and the girls never even know that they are there and then the girls just pay attention to the dumb guys and .....

a good way to break in is to agree with them (you shouldn't to disagree as that will keep them talking) and then to acknowledge that should there be extra time at the end of the lesson you will turn the time over to them (just kidding).

Finally, I do have to say that even when you think you have royally messed up, chances are that you were able to teach something to someone and have thus not failed. In fact, as a rule of thumb, your lessons will have touched more people than you possibly could know (even when teaching the Sunbeams). Besides, I believe that there are special blessing reserved for those of us who are willing to bear some part of our imperfect souls so that other can learn (even if it is from our mistakes).

Selective hearing

Last night we were all sitting down for family dinner (rare with a husband who works as late as Paxton) but I was having a hard time getting the kids to eat. The conversation went as follows.

Me: Shaylee, keep eating.
Me: Bryce, your fork is to eat with. It is not a catapult.
Me: Both of you stop playing with your food and eat please.
Me: Shaylee stop playing with your brother's food.
Me: Am I invisible or are our kids deaf?
Paxton: Bryce, did you hear what your mom said?
Bryce: Yeah...That she is invisible.

It is so strange how kids never listen until you say something you shouldn't have.

Quotes of the Week

"Please watch where you are peeing."



Me: Bryce, it is 10:00 at night! Why are you still awake?

Bryce: Because I have sand in my underwear.


I love being a mom...

That Doggone Bus

I am getting some good feed back about my crazy experiences as a mother. Perhaps everyone likes to hear that someone else's life is more chaotic that their own or perhaps it is just good for a laugh. Whatever the reason I will continue to post the random craziness that happens in our house in an effort to see the funny side of things (even if it takes several month before it seems funny.) Like this one...

The last week or so of school I was so busy with tutoring and kids that was kind of in a daze. One morning I was getting the kids ready for school when I failed to watch for Bryce's bus and heard as it was pulling away. I ran out and tried to wave them down but failed. It wasn't so bad. I was going to the gym so I figured I would hurry and drop Bryce off on the way. So, I bolted upstairs to change and get him to school on time. Right in the middle of changing I looked out the window and saw the bus pull back up (it had turned around and came back for us) and to my dismay I watched Bryce, his little sister and our dog (Red) all climb on the bus. I threw whatever clothes I could reach (you know when you trying to run and put your pants on at the same time...) and got outside to find the bus driver cracking up as the bus monitor held the dog for all the kids on the bus to pet. As I pull my child and Red down the steps (hoping to not flash anyone since I was not dressed appropriately) and off the bus I heard Bryce say that maybe next time Red could come to school with him.
Lesson Learned: Perhaps this is how God designed kids to keep us humble.

Baby Tattoos

So, I want to know whose idea it was to put the Sharpie markers by the candy in the checkout isle at Walmart. Like I don't have enough to keep my eye on, loading the cart, making sure the kids don't open any of the impulse-buy candy, and weeding out the things that mysteriously appeared in my cart that had no intention of buying. So after grocery shopping for two hours with three kids that like to run in three different directions and having my banana's stepped on, I turned to grab my two year old and found that she had discovered the permanent markers and proceeded to give herself baby tattoo's up and down her arms. FYI you can get permanent marker of skin in two days if you sit the kid in a warm bath for 20 and then scrub with a wash cloth. Also, permanent marker is also mostly removable from washable microsuede but it is difficult to get off walls so just paint over it...

Momma's Boys

My little Bryce has gone to the father-son camp out with Paxton and I miss him. He is the sweetest, most loving and adorable little boy ever. I love that having a little boy makes me feel like I'm falling in love all over again. Sometimes I look at him and he is so handsome my heart flutters and I have to kiss the top of his little red head.

I wrote this a while ago but those of you with boys might appreciate it.

Momma’s Boy

As a boy, he held her hand and sloppily kissed her cheek.
He told her she was beautiful and her praises he did seek.
His thoughtful ways and loving heart gave her constant joy
See, she had brought him up that way, to be a momma’s boy.

When he grew a little more he still greeted her with hugs
And showed her all his treasures like spiders, worms and bugs.
He told her all about his day while he helped her with the cooking
And sometimes he still held her hand when nobody was looking.

A few years later he grew up tall and was gone a little more
But even still, it was “Mom” he yelled after walking in the door.
He had to stoop to kiss her cheek and no longer held her hand
And she knew that he was turning out just as she had planned.

Some time later he left for school and though it broke her heart
She knew that she had raised him well and given the perfect start.
He was intelligent and confident and ready to start his life
And not very long after that I became his wife.

Now as a man he holds my hand and gives me gentle kisses
He tells me that I’m beautiful and almost always listens.
His thoughtful ways and loving heart give me constant joy
And I’m grateful for the woman who raised my man to be a momma’s boy.

Jaymie Quigley 11/26/06

Being Young is Wasted on the the Youth

Today I spoke in front of 600 teenagers and I have to say something in their behalf. Teenagers get a pretty bad rap for being lazy, rude, unappreciative and selfish but what I saw today stands as evidence against that stereotype. I saw a group of well behaved, respectably dressed, eager young people that shined with intelligence, integrity and honor. Maybe the future of America isn't so bleak as it seems. Way to be awesome Mike and Jenny (my baby brother and sister).

Quote of the Day

I like to keep track of funny things that my kids make me say. You know when see your two year old approach your dog with a purple marker and then you hear yourself yell, "Don't color the dog!"
Did I really just say that? I must think that at least once a day so I started writing them down. I call this The List.

1. It’s not ok to draw on your brother

2. Please don’t like the van

3. Fish don’t need toilet paper

4. I told you not to lick your dad’s razor

5. I guess when you eat something upside down it comes out your nose

6. Our VCR had a car accident

7. If you put your fingers in his mouth it is not his fault if he bites you

8. Bryce mooned the missionaries today

9. You cut your hair... again

10. No, you’re supposed to pee BEHIND the bush

11. Why are you wearing your brother’s underwear?

12. Please don’t put carrots up your nose

13. Why is there a cow in our toaster

14. I don’t know what snot is for

15. Yes, he did look kind of like a porcupine

16. Please don’t bark at people we don’t know.

17. That is glue, not chapstick.

18. Did you say she flushed Lighting McQueen?

19. Get the turtle out of the refrigerator.

20. He wants to be a transformer when he grows up.

21. What have you done that is good today? No, that was not a trick question.

22. No, he does not have six babies in his tummy.

23. I’m going crazy…. No, you can’t come.

24. yeah, maybe if you save your nickels you can buy a helicopter someday

25. Get the turtle out of your mouth

26. Who drew smiley faces on the toilet paper?

Kids can be way too much fun...

Oh where, oh where has my little turtle gone?

Our turtle has been missing for four days now and I fear the worst...

Who said wrinkles are bad?

As I have recently turned 28, I have been considering the awkward age where you worry about wrinkles and zits at the same time. Since it is costly to wage a war against both I have made a decision. I have based this conclusion on some rather infallible logic that runs like this.

If wrinkles come from emotion, smiling, maturity and sun, to not have wrinkles would be contributed to the lack of these. Now what kind of life would that be?! Sure you may look younger but who said that that was a good thing anyway? Being a teenager was pretty miserable. My early twenties were spent raising kids. Now as I approach 30 I have some free time to myself, my kids are less maintenance and life is pretty much great. I would want to be younger for anything.

So in conclusion, I will spend this year outside, smiling, playing and loving my kids. Wrinkles be d**ned and bring on 30!

You Eat Kangaroo's?

I had the chance to teach Bryce's primary class on Sunday. Since I was asked last minute I took the prerogative to pick whatever lesson I wanted to teach. And I chose "I am thankful for animals." During the class I asked, "What animals to we get food from?" The dialoge went something like this:

Chloe: I know! Kangaroos!
Tanner: I think Lamanites.
Me: Chloe, you have eaten Kangaroo before?
Chloe: No, but sometimes my dad catches chickens and kills them and then he makes us eat them.
Bryce: I like spiders, they are insects that have eight legs. The most dangerous one is called a crab spider.
Me: Uh..... We keep some animals as pets. Do you guys have any pets?
Kira: We have a dog. But it's dead.
Bryce: We have a dog and turtle but I lost the turtle.
Chloe: We had a pet elephant but it ate our dog house and then we had to get a new dog house.
Me: (with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard) Ok, so, some animals we use to carring things for us. When I as little I got to ride on a camel. do you guys know where camels live?
Tanner: I think in Zeramemla.
Kira: I had a pet elephant once too.

Ya gotta love those little kids.

Here we go!

Alright, I'm going to give this a shot. I'm not computer illiterate but there is something unnerving about putting personal information on the internet. But, as our friends and family live literally all over the world, I am willing to try this in an effort to keep up with everyone.

I don't know any proper blog etiquette so I'm sorry if I seem uninformed but I will have to figure this out as I go.