The Mystery of the Disappearing Tortoise

I would like to consider myself a fairly intelligent person but for the life of me I can't figure this one out. And being a math tutor, it is driving me crazy to have a problem that I can't solve. So, if you have any ideas I would be happy to hear them.

Here is the background info:
Last Christmas we got a pet tortoise that was more expensive than I care to admit in public. The kids did so well with him (Tuga) that we tried a dog the following spring (for more info see last post). Obviously that one didn't go so well but in keeping track of the dog I often lost track of the tortoise. So, Tuga would be lost for a few days and then he would appear out of no where after. The longest he was lost during the summer was about two weeks when I found him wandering around upstairs after I had searched the entire house. (I have no idea what he was eating up there but I found evidence that he had been under Shaylee's bed for some amount of time.)

Soon after Tuga went missing again I searched for him all over but after about two months I gave up hope. I was even so pessimistic as to have Paxton move our mattress when there was a suspicious smell coming from under my bed which ended up being from some smelly plant water. After we got rid of Red I promised the kids we could go get another tortoise since it is the only pet Paxton will agree to. So about a week ago we headed off the the pet store and purchased Tu-Tuga (My dad said it sounds like a Polynesian football player). She has been a good little pet.

Now this is where things get weird. Last night I was getting after the kids for racing around downstairs while holding the turtle when I looked down past Bryce and saw another tortoise on the floor. I checked again and Bryce still had the first tortoise in his hand. I gasped, the kids screamed and poor Tuga was mauled. My brain has been trying to figure out how this all could have come about and this is what I have figured. When I picked him up he was noticeably colder than Tu-Tuga, so it is likely he had been outside since he was so cold. Also, I don't know how he could have lived in the house with out regular food for that long. Assuming he was outside, the only way he could have gotten back into the house is if one of the kids brought him in. Shaylee and Bryce were definitely surprised so I questioned Avery and this is what I got.

Me: Avery did you find Tuga?
Avery:Yeah, he's right there? (pointing to the turtle)
Me: Did you find him outside?
Avery: Yeah, outside.
Me: Can you show me where you found him?
Avery: "Yeah,there's outside." (Taking me to our sliding back door)
Me: (Exasperated) "Avery, how did Tuga get in the house?"
Avery: (thoughtfully) "Ummm, he jumped over the fence."

There you have it. All the info and clues I can find. If anyone has any ideas of how this possibly could have worked I would value your input. (My only other idea is that he has been abducted by aliens and then returned to us in between experiments.)

This one is Tu-Tuga:

Doggon it (2)

It is true. We have gotten rid of our lovable dog Red. He really was the calmest, sweetest, most beautiful dog ever but after trying to work this out for six months I threw in the towel. Red was an outside dog which was fine until he realized he could jump our fence. Then when I couldn't keep him in the yard anymore I tried to bring him in the house and had a horrid time trying to house break him when Paxton was gone all the time and I was trying to tutor and run the kids everywhere. So, we found a nice him for him with a higher fence and kids to play with. For those of you contemplating pets, I have to say that our tortoise as been the best... no special food, no noise, no shedding, minimal clean up and too slow to run away from the kids. Now if I could just figure out where he scooted off to... If reptiles aren't your thing, I found this list. It is pretty funny:

Top Ten Low Maintenance Pets
1. Goldfish/ put them in a bowl with a fake plant, throw in food, call it good.
2. Earthworm/ strange and hardly move, easy to keep in a jar or can
3. Ladybug/ they're cute and little and probably eat grass
4. Neighborhood cat (not feral) / not your pet, not your problem
5. Imaginary Dog/ creative and fun and very well trained
6. Stuffed Squirrel / throw some business at your local taxidermist. they're cuddly and furry and never bite.
7. House Fly / these little guys only live 36-48 hours, but they're replaceable and are actually quite friendly.
8. Bee in a Jar/ great for metaphorical lessons, fun for the kids.\
9. Ant Farm/ you can buy them in a kit, on the internets.
10. Sea Monkeys/ even brine shrimp now have their own fansite and why shouldn't they? These are the best pets ever!

I have to say my favorites are the neighborhood cat (thanks Cougar), the imaginary dog (although mine was an imaginary peacock), and the worms (be cautious of washing them a Slimy will slide right down the drain).

Deep Questions from Bryce

Just a few profound thoughts:

Bryce: Why do horses always show their teeth when they smile?

Bryce: If we can't keep our dog because our fence is too small then can we get a smaller dog so that the fence is too big?

Bryce: Mom can someone come to play?
Me: No Bryce, you're sick.
Bryce: Well can't I play with someone else who is already sick?

Shout it Out!

Alright my fellow bloggers, I admit I had kind of a grouchy weekend and in a effort to get through this bad mood detour have been trying to change my attitude. Today I feel like I have done it and I just have to shout out how truly blessed I am. I have the most precious children I could ever dream of. They are intelligent, beautiful, and (most importantly) super sweet. My husband is the man of my dreams in every way. He is the greatest joy in my life and in every way my soulmate. I have an incredible family that I love for being the wacky, fun-loving people that they are. My parents are exceptional and I will be forever devoted to them for wisdom, advice and occasional bad joke. My in-laws rock and I am lucky to be accepted as part of their family. My friends are my personal guardian angles that keep me happy, grounded, and from doing anything too irrational. I love my life and thank God for the serious blessings He has poured into our home. Life is good and I will spend the day dancing in my kitchen with my adorable kids with the music cranked up! If life is good for you too, try shouting it out. I'll listen.

Love at Home!

This is a recap of my sister's FHE with her 3 yr old son.

Caleb throwing a tantrum and yelling that we have to sing "Love is Spoken Here." Caleb being threatened with a spanking for his tantrum on said subject.

Caleb sobbing while singing "Families Can Be Together Forever" with his disgruntled parents.

Caleb's reply when asked where he lived before he was born: "Hawaii."

Caleb's reply to my inquiry about where people go if they aren't very nice on Earth: "Illinois."

Caleb's definitions for the following:
Celestial Kingdom: Where you get ice cream; where Jesus and Heavenly Father live and people share toys.

Terrestrial Kingdom: Where popsicles fall of their sticks sometimes before you can eat them and people share their toys most of the time.

Telestial Kingdom: Where people poke you in the arm and don't share their toys very often.

Outer Darkness: Where the lights are never turned on and you have to stay in bed; where people don't share their toys.

Motherhood lesson learned today:

A candy-covered, caramel apple is a cruel gift to a six-year-old without any front teeth.

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me...

Saturday afternoon I came down from a nap to find a pile of pizza toppings on the counter top. Knowing that Shaylee does not like pineapple I deduced that she had helped herself to the leftover pizza and pulled the toppings off. I commented as much and Paxton confirmed my suspicion. Since I don't believe in wasting food, I helped myself to the toppings. When I had halfway swallowed my mouthful Paxton looked up at me and yelled, "Don't eat that! Shaylee had worm guts all over her hands and pulled the pizza toppings off before she washed them." Chalk it up to developing my immune system I guess...

Like Father, Like Son

This morning I found Bryce in the garage lifting one pound weights. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was exercising so he could be big and strong like Daddy. I had to get a picture of his muscles that have the circumference of a Ritz Cracker.



Shaylee has definitely inherited my atisitic streak but I have never considered using toilet paper as a medium before.

No Peeing!

We were driving home from a park when I heard Shaylee say, "No Peeing."
Concerned I asked her what she was talking about. She said, "That sign said NO PEEING." Being fairly familiar with the terrain I asked her, "What sign?" She said, "The sign back there had a P with a big, red, cross through it." She was disillusioned when I told her that it meant No Parking. Although I did get a laugh when it crossed my mind what a "No Peeing" sign might look like.

Surf's up!

After three years, I have finally decorated Shaylee's bed room. She is so excited to have her own room and I am more excited to finally be finished with it.