A White Christmas

I think that from now on Christmas will be a little bitter sweet for me. It is hard not to wish that I would be setting out one more stocking or buying 12 month old blue clothes. The day after Christmas we took Paxton's brother and his wife to see Colin's headstone. I was so disappointed to find the entire cemetery buried in a foot of ice crusted snow. After stomping around for twenty disheartening minutes we finally found our little boy's headstone. It is still hard for me to be there but I think this time it was a little easier.


The other 95% of our Christmas was wonderful. We made a giant snow tortoise and Christmas tree shaped sandwiches. We celebrated Paxton's 32nd birthday on Christmas ever and went through the new Twin Fall's temple. We played games till one in the morning and had awesome Quigley down home cooking. And of course it wouldn't be an Idaho holiday without shooting something.




We were only able to get our Christmas card out to family this year (I'm breaking Paxton in slowly) but for my wonderful friends, here is our Christmas letter.

Twas the week before Christmas and all through our house
Every creature was stirring, even the mouse (that has taken up residence in the wall of our family room and we can’t seem to get rid of.)
The children were busy with parties and school
And I was so tired I was starting to drool.

But rather than sleeping I sat down to write
In hopes that our letter would bring some delight.
So if my rhyming is off, there is not need to fear
I will still try to give you the gist of this year.

We are happy in Boise and let it be told,
We are putting down roots here (inspite of the cold.)
We are loving our house, residing in harmony
And are making ends meet, despite the economy.

Avery’s our diva and busy is she
She thinks that she’s sixteen but is actually three.
We love to watch her with her golden red curls
And know that we’re blessed with the cutest of girls.

Bryce is our athlete, all about speed.
He also surprised us with his talent to read.
He is handsome and loving, his momma’s sweet boy
And Hot Wheels and race cars are his choice of toy.

Shaylee is six and the neighborhood cutie.
Her sweetness and talents just add to her beauty.
She is a wonderful student and does well in school
But Mom’s glad, to her, boys still aren’t that cool.

Last year with Micron, Paxton got hired
And despite their finances, we haven’t been fired.
He hopes since his work is not all that exciting
That in his dune buggy he soon will be riding.

I’m keeping busy with math, kids and cooking
And trying to blog when no one is looking.
I also have learned to keep tedium at bay
By buying a motorcycle last Mother’s Day.

This year has been good to us, one of the best
And there’s no doubt in our minds that we truly are blessed.
With best wishes to all, we’ll sign with our squigglies,
Merry Christmas to you, with love,
From the Quigley’s

Jinx

I supposed I jinxed myself. By saying that I was going to try my best to be happy I should have known that I was tempting fate (like wearing a white shirt and eating pizza). I have a huge 4ft X 4ft painting that I have been making for a friend. Just yesterday I was told my friend that I would have her painting done by Tuesday before we left for Christmas. Today, another of my friends gave us their old key board that I was going to put in our study and I moved the painting temporarily to fit the keyboard in a spot against the wall. Five minutes later I was saying goodbye to my friend when my older daughter came running yelling that my three year old had ripped a hole in my painting. I came in to find two six and one inch slices in my painting. My daughter had jumped from a chair on to the painting that had been leaning up against the desk. I didn't yell or scream or swear (though tempted to do all three at once) and quietly sent her to time out.

THEN I decided to get pizza since it was late and I was using all my energy trying not to turn into the She Hulk. I came home and was getting the pizza ready when my littlest daughter got into an Avon box I had stupidly left with in her reach. She promptly opened the box with all the delicacy of a three-year-old, flinging the pieces of the broken bracelet, that I was going to return, into the land of all lost articles that include my keys, spoons and single socks that will never be seen again. (I didn't yell or scream but counted to ten and not so quietly sent her to time out).

THEN I went to put the pizza in the oven and somehow misjudged the 18 inches that I had to slide the pizza into the oven. The pizza buckled, folded in half and ended up in a pile on the door of my oven. So, on top of my garbage disposal that had broken that morning, I get to clean out my oven. (I didn't yell or scream and only swore in my head and then held my breath until I was in control.)

Despite fate's determination to ruin my goal, I will kiss my kids good night, smile when my husband walks in the door and go to bed early before something else happens. Besides, I have a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow.

The List Continued

I don't want to repeat anything but in my effort to remain up beat through Christmas sometimes I can use a laugh. Some of you guys have seen this before but I thought I put it back up for those who hadn't (besides I added a few).

I like to keep track of funny things that my kids make me say. You know when see your two year old approach your dog with a purple marker and then you hear yourself yell, "Don't color the dog!"
Did I really just say that? I must think that at least once a day so I started writing them down. I call this The List.

1. It’s not ok to draw on your brother
2. Please don’t lick the van
3. Fish don’t need toilet paper
4. I told you not to lick your dad’s razor
5. I guess when you eat something upside down it comes out your nose
6. Our VCR had a car accident
7. If you put your fingers in his mouth it is not his fault if he bites you
8. Bryce mooned the missionaries today
9. You cut your hair... again
10. No, you’re supposed to pee BEHIND the bush
11. Why are you wearing your brother’s underwear?
12. Please don’t put carrots up your nose
13. Who put a cow in our toaster
14. I don’t know what snot is for
15. Yes, he did look kind of like a porcupine
16. Please don’t bark at people we don’t know.
17. Get the turtle out of your mouth
18. Did you say she flushed Lighting McQueen?
19. Get the turtle out of the refrigerator.
20. He wants to be a transformer when he grows up.
21. What have you done that is good today? No, that was not a trick question.
22. No, he does not have six babies in his tummy.
23. I’m going crazy…. No, you can’t come.
24. yeah, maybe if you save your nickels you can buy a helicopter someday
25. That is glue, not chapstick.
26. Who drew smiley faces on the toilet paper?
27. A candy covered caramel apple is a cruel gift to give to a six-year old with out any front teeth.
28. Just because Mommy said it doesn't mean you can (I said "stupid" while I was driving)
29. Your daughter pulled the chandelier out of the ceiling today.
30. I don't suppose you can sleep with sand in your underwear.
31. Please stop saying "wiener" at the dinner table.

Kids can be way too much fun...

A gift

Alright Guys, I guess it is time to practice what I preach. Many of you know that I firmly believe that happiness is a choice. It is something I have worked a lot on in the past eighteen months. Last night I was laying in bed, dreading the insane business of my schedule the next day and I said to my husband, "I am so busy that I haven't been able to enjoy anything about Christmas yet." Not good, when I get too busy and too stressed I know that I get snappy, irrational, overly-sensitive, and grouchy (not to mention that I eat way too much chocolate). So, I have decided that, come what may in the next ten days, I am going to give my family the gift of having a happy mom. I'll let you know how it goes.

(This is a clip of something I wrote a while ago about a theory I have. It is a bit long but I promise you some laughs.)

It is a fact that the mood of the Mom spreads through a house like a smell, be it apple pie or burnt toast. A grouchy mom can put a whole family on edge within seconds of stepping in the house. Or, in reverse, a happy mom can create an atmosphere of calm and peace even when the world is storming outside.

We, as mothers, find ourselves in the unique position of possessing the ability of controlling the climate of our domestic domain. Imagine what the emotional forecast is in your house. When we are grouchy and cold, our household weatherman maybe calling for freezing temperatures and sleet. When we are sad our forecast calls for three days of rain and lightning. Perhaps, when we are irritable and short tempered the Doppler screen shows winds exceeding 90 mph and a tornado watch. Nasty weather is something that makes everyone miserable.

I am a sunshine girl. I love feeling the sun on my skin. When the sun is shining and the day is glorious, I could spend all day outside playing with kids, gardening, barbequing with friends, or chatting at my husband. Even an overcast day or some rain here and there add variety and makes me appreciate the sunshine again. I have lived in heat and humidity, in hurricanes and snow drifts but days of incessant cold, rain, thunder, and lightning make even a trip to the cannery seem inviting.

People actively seek out nice climates. That is why no one plans a vacation to Greenland but you could pay a fortune for a postage stamp size piece of California. So, how excited do you think a husband is to come home to a house with a temperature that is fifteen below zero? Or how happy are kids when Mom’s personal forecast is blistering hot with 90% humidity?

There was one difficult time when my husband had been gone on a work trip for several days. I had had a very hard time with three kids, ages three and under, while he was gone. When he came home I was so mad and stressed I hardly recognized he was there. Rather than expressing my appreciation for him and how glad I was that he was home, I was angry over something that inconvenience me and that he had no control over. It took some good communication on his part to make me realize that I was punishing him with my bad mood (hurricane Jaymie) even though he had done his best under the circumstances.

Unfortunately, our kids and husbands are most often the ones that take the brunt of Mom’s bad mood. Have you ever worked for someone what was never pleased with your work? Someone that only told you what you were doing wrong? Or would throw you under the bus when things went wrong? My husband used to be an auditor and trust me; people don’t like it. It really isn’t any more fair when we do that to our family. When we spend the day yelling, demanding, and blaming others when things go wrong, nobody wins.

As my children have grown I am amazed at the strange, subtle, and not-so-subtle way that my kids respond to me. Through trial and error (mostly error) I have learned to recognize characteristics that pop up in my children when they are reacting to my mood. One child becomes sassy, another becomes overly needy and the last becomes reckless to the point of injury. (Names are withheld to protect the guilty).

It probably wasn’t until my kids were two and three that I began to realize that my children’s behavior often reflected my own. When my house was chaotic and messy, they were less likely to clean up after themselves. When I yelled, they yelled more and listened less. When I was snappy with them they were snappy with each other. There was undeniably a correlation. I finally realized had been blaming my mood on my kids’ behavior rather than the other way around.

Family Pictures

Nice, we got these just in time for Christmas! AND I think Paxton will OK doing real (not E-cards) Christmas cards this year.
We also had to take these after being rained out the first day and with about 15 min notice on the second day. At least they turned out cute!

Dinner Time

Here is a recap of our dinner conversation tonight:

Bryce: Dad, if I ever see an alien is it OK if I punch it in the wiener?
Me: Bryce, please don't use potty talk, especially at dinner. Now eat.
Bryce: But Dad didn't answer my question.
Paxton:What was the question?
Bryce: If I ever see an alien is it OK if I punch it in the wiener?
Avery: What's a wiener?
Paxton: How do you even know if aliens have wieners?
Me: Bryce do you even know what a wiener is?
Bryce: Yeah it's the part right-
Me: Never mind, don't talk, just eat.
Avery (holding up a bite of salmon): Is this a wiener?
Me: No, that is fish. Now eat it.
Avery: Is it a fish's wiener?
Paxton (laughing): No, fish don't have wieners.
Avery: Oh, is it it's head.
Me (glaring at Paxton): No more talking. Eat your dinner please.
Avery (holding up another bite): Is this part the fish wiener?
Me: Can I please be excused?

All's far in Love, War and Christmas Lights

Could someone please invent Christmas lights that never tangle, come in any color you want, and when a bulb burns out have it be the one and only light that is out so you don't have go guess which one it is until your fingers are sore and bleeding and you get mad and throw the whole strand away anyway? It that really too much to ask? I would place them high in my esteem (next to the guy who invented non-breakable ornaments and mint chocolate candy canes!)

PS I really did throw out six sets of Christmas lights and there would have been more except the other broken ones are stuck to my pre-lit tree. How's that for Christmas spirit... Ba Humbug!