EFY

Last week I got to go to EFY (Especially for Youth) in Flagstaff, Arizona. It was a blast. I get to go and speak to about 600 teenagers. I do eight, one hour talks in two days and am pretty worn out by the end of it but it is so worth it. Most of the other teachers are seminary teachers so the kids get excited to hear from a girl occasionally. The kids are awesome. It is so cool to see so many teenagers making good choices and living high moral standards. This time my talks were on using agency, respecting the role of parenthood, special witnesses of Christ, and living up to your highest potential.

It is fun to get to meet some of the other teachers. They are usually a pretty goofy bunch but you won't find a sweeter, kind-hearted bunch of guys anywhere. In fact it is kind of weird hanging out with them because they never say anything bad about anyone. For example, this last trip we got hopelessly lost in a very scary, ghetto neighborhood in Pheonix. While I was rechecking that my door was locked, my window rolled up and not making eye contact with anyone on the road. The other teachers were saying, "Look how cool these little tiny houses are. I bet the missionaries have a great time out here. I bet these guys are all awesome soccer players..." It kind of weirded me out at first, being round such positive people, but it is something I know I could do a little better at.

All in all, the trip was great. I am very blessed to get to do this.

Me and the other teachers


Goofing off during a break


Some of my one of my classes

Heartache

I was warned that adoption would be hard. I didn't know it would be hard this early on. Last Friday was were communicating with a grandpa that had custody of two little boys (2 1/2 and 3 months). He met with his layer on Wednesday to find out if he could have the kids adopted by us only to find out that the parents wanted to take the kids back because they didn't qualify for welfare without them.

I tried to keep my distance, knowing that this was a likely outcome but, I couldn't help but give up a small piece of my heart to these babies that didn't have basic food and hygiene needs met while with their parents. Now I am feeling the repercussions of this. I find myself asking how some good parents are begging to find kids to take into their hearts and homes while others can mistreat and abuse those precious little bodies that have been given to them. Even though the questions run through my head, I know the answers already. I know that somehow this all works out as part of God's plan. I even know that when I pray to know what that plan is, often God, in his wisdom, knows better than to let me in on it.

When I was pregnant with Colin, I can't tell you how many times I prayed to know if he would make it or not. Every time the answer was, It will all be OK. Even now, I know that if I had known for sure that he would die, I couldn't have made it through that pregnancy. I can also see now that, in time, everything will be OK. I have to rely on that faith now. To know that somehow, we will find a mother brave enough and selfless enough to let us raise a baby that only she can give us. Keep us all in your prayers please including those two baby boys.

Annoucement!

Dear family and friends,

After thinking about this for almost a year, Paxton and I have decided that our little family is not complete and that we would like to adopt.

We are working with LDS adoptions services and will soon have a profile on their website but, through research, we have found out that the best way to find a possible birthmother is through contacts with friends and family. We are asking for your help. Please keep your ears, eyes, and hearts open for a baby that could be part of our forever family. Just telling people in casual conversation that we are adopting will help us get the word out and expand our network.

We would prefer a little boy to balance out our family and are open as to race or ethnicity. In fact, growing up overseas with people of every color, I have seen beauty in variety and we would love to have that be part of our own family.

We know that this can be a long, emotional and complicated process so please keep us in your prayers. Right now we can be contacted through this email jpquigleyfamily@gmail.com, on our blog jpquigleyfamily.blogspot.com, and on Facebook.

We are so excited to have another addition to our little family and can’t wait to meet him!

With love and excitement,

Jaymie, Paxton, Shaylee, Bryce and Avery Quigley

Silver City

Memorial weekend we drove up to Silver City, an old mining ghost town. It was a GORGEOUS drive. I have somewhat attached to Idaho's farmland. It has it's own kind of beauty but I had no idea that if I just drove the opposite way that I usually do there are hills and mountains. Especially this time if year (one of two months when Idaho isn't brown) it was spectacular. It took about a hour to get to the mountains and another hour to get back into them. Paxton's family met us there. It made a great day trip.

Full Bloom

I love spring! Now that we have been in our house almost four years I get to reap the "fruits" of my labor. All of our fruit trees are producing and my flowering bushes look wonderful. I love having a hand in creating things that are beautiful.

Front yard:







Grape vines"

My David Austin roses I saved up for last year:



Apples:

Peaches:

Pears:

Welcome Harley!

We decided to try one more time. Our last dog escapade ended in heartbreak. Our redbone coon hound was very sweet and very handsome but when he learned to jump our six foot fence and visit all the neighbor dogs, we couldn't keep him anymore. Not to mention that he wasn't house broken. Paxton's idea of a good pet is one that is OK if you forget to feed it for a day, doesn't shed, doesn't make noise, doesn't ruin furniture, doesn't mess in the house, and doesn't cost anything for up keep. So, we basically could have a pet rock or a tortoise (as close to a pet rock as you can get.)

After seeing our seven year old draw picture after picture of the old dog for six months and watching her plead with tears (literally) in her eyes for a new dog. Paxton graciously relented and let us try one more time. We found a 7 month old toy rat terrier on Craig's List that was housebroken, crate trained, and non-yappy (high on Paxton's priority list). He is about 10 inches tall and weighs about seven lbs. Wish us luck this is probably our chance at owning a dog. So, here is Harley!

Memorial Day

I made it through my second memorial day. It has been almost two years to the day I found out was pregnant with Colin and 20 months since we lost him. Finally, within the last six months I have really started to feel peace. I'm not angry or questioning. I am still very sad but I have learned to control it much better.

I heard a comment a while ago that said, "If people believe in heaven, why are they sad when someone dies? Shouldn't you be happy that that person doesn't have to deal with the pain and suffering here on earth?" When I heard that I thought, "I am not grieving for my son. I am grieving for ME because I miss him. And for my Bryce who cries because he can't have is baby brother. And Shaylee who says she wants to be a big sister again and can't understand why we can't have any more kids.

But I can tell I am healing. Last year on memorial day we got to see Colin's headstone for the first time. I was dreading the whole weekend and was so sad that I was sick to my stomach. Paxton and I went early by ourselves and then his family brought our kids a bit later. I was so upset that when everyone else arrived I had to leave because I couldn't handle any more grief than my own. This year I only dreaded the hours before I got there. As I stepped out into the sunshine (a God-send literally) and saw how beautiful everything was and how many other people were celebrating someone they loved, I knew that I was a different person than last year. I welcomed my family's tears as they grieved with me.

I also have finally been able to touch a baby again. It was a year before I could hold a baby girl, a year and a half for a baby boy, and finally this weekend I held my brand new nephew. Progress... slow, but progress none the less.

This weekend I celebrated happiness. Happiness that I have live through the two years and have come out a better person for it. Happiness that I have four beautiful kids and a husband that loves me. And happiness that God loved me enough to give me this precious baby that I will get to know some day.