Things I have loved witnessing this month:
Bryce offering to switch bunk beds with Jacob because bad dreams don't come up to the top bunk.
Shaylee recommending Jacob put the star on the top of the tree because this is a special Christmas for him.
Avery leaning over at the table and kissing Jacob on the cheeck and telling him he is her favorite new brother.
Jacob accidentally hurting Avery and him trying to kiss it better.
Shaylee leaving a suprise note for me and Paxton it the fridge. It said that we were the best parents she ever had and that she thought it was cool that we could adopt Jacob.
Jacob telling me he wanted to give me something and then kissing my cheeck.
Watching all four of the kids play together.
We have so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Reality
The reality of having four kids within three and a half years of each other is settling in. Everything is still going very well but I think the honeymoon period is over and reality is taking hold. Even with one more well behaved child there is just more toys to pick up, more clothes to wash, more food to make and more homework to get done. Luckily we got Jacob literally the day after Paxton's buys season ended so he has been around to help more.
There have been more than a few things that make this adoption different than a new born adoption. Some of them I think are easier and some are harder. I think the hardest so far is to try to figure out this little guy when I know so little about him. Even with my other kids, it can be hard to figure out what makes them tick. What works for rewards and punishments, what kind of food they like or don't like, when are they being dramatic and when do they genuinely need so lovin. That has been kind of difficult. In fact when we were in his little Sunday school class his teacher mentioned something about Utah and Jacob said "Oh, I've lived there before." I looked at him and said, "You have?" That was kind of eye opening.
I do have to say that I am so very proud of ALL of my kids. Jacob has been a trouper, putting up with new parents, siblings, friends, house, school and church. He has adjusted very well to being a big brother, something he has never had to be before. He did ask why Avery follows him around all the time and I said, "It is just because she is a little sister and she thinks you are so cool." He just nodded his head like that made complete sense. Shaylee, Bryce and Avery have welcomed him with open arms. There hasn't been any jealousy, fighting (beyond normal), tantrums or name calling. I am so proud of how these little bodies can love so unconditionally.
There have been more than a few things that make this adoption different than a new born adoption. Some of them I think are easier and some are harder. I think the hardest so far is to try to figure out this little guy when I know so little about him. Even with my other kids, it can be hard to figure out what makes them tick. What works for rewards and punishments, what kind of food they like or don't like, when are they being dramatic and when do they genuinely need so lovin. That has been kind of difficult. In fact when we were in his little Sunday school class his teacher mentioned something about Utah and Jacob said "Oh, I've lived there before." I looked at him and said, "You have?" That was kind of eye opening.
I do have to say that I am so very proud of ALL of my kids. Jacob has been a trouper, putting up with new parents, siblings, friends, house, school and church. He has adjusted very well to being a big brother, something he has never had to be before. He did ask why Avery follows him around all the time and I said, "It is just because she is a little sister and she thinks you are so cool." He just nodded his head like that made complete sense. Shaylee, Bryce and Avery have welcomed him with open arms. There hasn't been any jealousy, fighting (beyond normal), tantrums or name calling. I am so proud of how these little bodies can love so unconditionally.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sister update
Lindsay started her chemo therapy and radiation treatments last week. I guess a new chemo drug came out recently that is supposed to be easier on the patients but even so, it can't be easy. The first day was pretty much horrible and then her husband threw his back out and can't walk. Luckily my mom (my dad is in Baghdad right now) and my other sister live about an hour away and were able to come get her little boys. She managed to get to her radiation appointment the next day and it wasn't quite so bad. I don't know if I lived a charmed childhood but I have known an unusal number of women who have suffered from cancer in the last two years. It has been a brutal awakening for me, particularly with my sister now. I used to look at women in history and wonder how they could watch those they love suffer and now I realize that we still have similar trials, I just have the maturity to notice them now.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
From Jacob
One of these pictures takes on a new meaning coming from Jacob. I wonder what difference it makes in his little brain to have a "forever family."
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wow
It is really hard to sum up the last week in a few paragraphs but I will give it a try. This whole adding-a-child-but-starting-at-five thing has been different, exciting and intimidating.
Wed- Had Jacob and his foster family over. The night went very well and we were so excited to get to meet him.
Thurs- Paxton and I took Jacob out to breakfast. He was cute but a bit shy. Eventually with pancakes and some goofiness we broke down some barriers.
Friday-We picked up Jacob that afternoon and brought him home. We all watched Ice Age 3 (he had picked out while we were out the day before) and had pizza. He stayed the night for the first time and did great.
Sat- Paxton's boss gave him Bronco's tickets as a "baby-shower" gift. The boys, dad and grandpa went to the game and then we went trick-or-treating. Jacob was the first one to walk up to all the scary doors. At one even I got scared when a person (that I thought was fake) reached out at us, but Jacob didn't flinch. The kids all had a good night.
Sun-He went to church with us and did great. When I asked him about it he said it was good but a little boring. Sounds like he got it about right. Sunday night we took him back to his foster house for his last few days of school.
Tues- We picked him up again and his foster parents commmented on how much he had changed over the weekend. They said he was much more confident and self assured. I guess having a forever family can do that for a kid.
Wed-I took him to his dentist appointment and found out that a year ago of his 20 baby teeth, ten had caps, one had been pulled, and every other one had had a cavity. Guess that happens when no one brushed his teeth until he was four. Luckily his foster family was wonderful and everything was good for now. Then he had his last day at his old school but was nominated for student of the month so we will go to his award ceremony tomorrow.
Thurs. Got his school papers ready and finished getting all our foster paperwork together. We are techincally foster parents for six months until the adoption is final. The state just has to come and check on him once a month to make sure he is safe and happy for a while first. It is too bad that bad things have happened to make that necessary. A sweet friend of ours also took new family pictures for us today. Everything went well until the kids ended up in the water and froze.
Fri(tomorrow)Since our kids are out of school we are all going to go to Jacob's award ceremony. Then later we will go to the zoo and maybe out for ice cream.
I was told that adoption was different than having your own biological child but I wasn't (nor could I have been) prepared for what that meant. I thought that having Jacob come home would feel like bringing one of our other kids home from the hospital and it has kind of surprised me a bit that my feelings have been quite different. I have been kind of down on myself that I haven't been able to look at him and just adore him the way I do my other kids but tonight I realized what makes this different for me. I think one of the most profound ways to build love for someone is to sacrifice. With my other kids I learned to sacrifice for them in pregnancy, months of throwing up, headaches, heartburn, all round discomfort and months of bedrest with liitle to do but to think about them. But I was reawarded by feeling that life inside me. When they were born I had already known them for nine months.
With Jacob things are different. I have known of his existance for a month and already he is our new son. I know his background, all the different homes and people he has lived with in his short five years. I know what his caseworker, his foster mom and his counselor say about him and I have got to know him in this week in our home. But I also know now that it was nieve and unrealistic of me to expect to feel the same way about him as I do about Bryce, not because I don't care, not because I regret, but because I don't yet have that foundation of sacrifice and love that creates that mother/child bond. But I also know, that Jacob is supposed to be part of our family and that given the right enviornment and lots of heavenly guidence, this little seed of trust and love will thrive and grow and become a strong new branch of our family tree.
PS Here are some of our Halloween pictures. It is really going to kink my blogging style to not show pictures of Jake until he is adopted but here are our other three.
Wed- Had Jacob and his foster family over. The night went very well and we were so excited to get to meet him.
Thurs- Paxton and I took Jacob out to breakfast. He was cute but a bit shy. Eventually with pancakes and some goofiness we broke down some barriers.
Friday-We picked up Jacob that afternoon and brought him home. We all watched Ice Age 3 (he had picked out while we were out the day before) and had pizza. He stayed the night for the first time and did great.
Sat- Paxton's boss gave him Bronco's tickets as a "baby-shower" gift. The boys, dad and grandpa went to the game and then we went trick-or-treating. Jacob was the first one to walk up to all the scary doors. At one even I got scared when a person (that I thought was fake) reached out at us, but Jacob didn't flinch. The kids all had a good night.
Sun-He went to church with us and did great. When I asked him about it he said it was good but a little boring. Sounds like he got it about right. Sunday night we took him back to his foster house for his last few days of school.
Tues- We picked him up again and his foster parents commmented on how much he had changed over the weekend. They said he was much more confident and self assured. I guess having a forever family can do that for a kid.
Wed-I took him to his dentist appointment and found out that a year ago of his 20 baby teeth, ten had caps, one had been pulled, and every other one had had a cavity. Guess that happens when no one brushed his teeth until he was four. Luckily his foster family was wonderful and everything was good for now. Then he had his last day at his old school but was nominated for student of the month so we will go to his award ceremony tomorrow.
Thurs. Got his school papers ready and finished getting all our foster paperwork together. We are techincally foster parents for six months until the adoption is final. The state just has to come and check on him once a month to make sure he is safe and happy for a while first. It is too bad that bad things have happened to make that necessary. A sweet friend of ours also took new family pictures for us today. Everything went well until the kids ended up in the water and froze.
Fri(tomorrow)Since our kids are out of school we are all going to go to Jacob's award ceremony. Then later we will go to the zoo and maybe out for ice cream.
I was told that adoption was different than having your own biological child but I wasn't (nor could I have been) prepared for what that meant. I thought that having Jacob come home would feel like bringing one of our other kids home from the hospital and it has kind of surprised me a bit that my feelings have been quite different. I have been kind of down on myself that I haven't been able to look at him and just adore him the way I do my other kids but tonight I realized what makes this different for me. I think one of the most profound ways to build love for someone is to sacrifice. With my other kids I learned to sacrifice for them in pregnancy, months of throwing up, headaches, heartburn, all round discomfort and months of bedrest with liitle to do but to think about them. But I was reawarded by feeling that life inside me. When they were born I had already known them for nine months.
With Jacob things are different. I have known of his existance for a month and already he is our new son. I know his background, all the different homes and people he has lived with in his short five years. I know what his caseworker, his foster mom and his counselor say about him and I have got to know him in this week in our home. But I also know now that it was nieve and unrealistic of me to expect to feel the same way about him as I do about Bryce, not because I don't care, not because I regret, but because I don't yet have that foundation of sacrifice and love that creates that mother/child bond. But I also know, that Jacob is supposed to be part of our family and that given the right enviornment and lots of heavenly guidence, this little seed of trust and love will thrive and grow and become a strong new branch of our family tree.
PS Here are some of our Halloween pictures. It is really going to kink my blogging style to not show pictures of Jake until he is adopted but here are our other three.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Forever Families
Friends & Family -
Jaymie and I are so excited to tell you about our news! We had a new little boy, Jacob Tyler, join our family today. Jaymie said this was the easiest delivery she has ever had, despite Jacob weighing in at about 45 pounds and measuring about 40 inches long. Both Mom and Jacob are doing very well, recovering from all the excitement of the day. Jacob has blue eyes, a full head of brown hair and is a very sweet little boy. His development is amazing; on the first day we brough him home, he walked all by himself; jumped on the trampoline; slid down the slide and is speaking in full sentences. This "pregnancy" was only about 4 months, but he came to us being five years old. We've adopted!
In all seriousness, we received a call from the Idaho Health & Welfare department today saying that we had been chosen as the family for Jacob. We are elated. We had been in contact with the social workers there for several weeks and knew this was coming, but it is wonderful to finally have it "official". Jacob has been in foster care with a wonder family for about a year. He and his family came over today and we got to meet him. He is very, very sweet and I think he will fit right into our family. Mom (Rollins) said it best "He's like a little puzzle piece that will just fit right in" and so he is. He's a year and a day younger than Bryce (6) and about a year and a half older than Avery (4). The first few years of his life were pretty rough, but he has a very sweet disposition and seems to be perfect for our family, and we seem to be perfect for him.
We had a few preasents to give him, and he just glowed while he was opening them....but who doesn't like transformers, fighter jets, tonka trucks, snuggly stuffed puppies and a blanket (camo of course). He played so well with Shaylee, Bryce and Avery (and they played so well with him, thank goodness). I heard him say "Bryce, I really like you." As the evening went on, the kids disappeared and we were able to spend quite a while talking with is foster parents. They have done so much to help him in the past year. He seems to have caught up to where he should be for his age. His foster parents are wonderful Christian people who know that Jacob is supposed to be in our family and are very supportive of this transition. During our talk with his foster parents, the kids (ours and theirs) were upstairs watching a movie (Cars, Jacob's favorite) and Jacob came down and timidly walked up to Jaymie and said "I love you so much." That was the sweetest thing I have heard. His foster parents said that they had never heard him say that before, ever.
It was hard to let him go back home with his foster family, but since he's older, we needed to have a short transition. We'll see him daily for the next week at aclimitize, and then he'll be in our home perminently. When he was packing up his new toys and saying good by, Shaylee said "I'm gald that you are my new brother."; Bryce said "I can't wait until you can be my little brother."; and Avery said "Thank you for coming to our family."
We are definitely blessed to have him come to our home. It'll take maybe 6 - 9 months before the adoption is finalized, but we'll be his foster parents until we are able to finalize the process and have him sealed to us. We look forward to that day and are loving our new son.
Paxton, Jaymie, Shaylee, Bryce, Jacob and Avery
PS We aren't allow to post pictures of him yet (foster rules) but if you would like to see a picture email us.
Jaymie and I are so excited to tell you about our news! We had a new little boy, Jacob Tyler, join our family today. Jaymie said this was the easiest delivery she has ever had, despite Jacob weighing in at about 45 pounds and measuring about 40 inches long. Both Mom and Jacob are doing very well, recovering from all the excitement of the day. Jacob has blue eyes, a full head of brown hair and is a very sweet little boy. His development is amazing; on the first day we brough him home, he walked all by himself; jumped on the trampoline; slid down the slide and is speaking in full sentences. This "pregnancy" was only about 4 months, but he came to us being five years old. We've adopted!
In all seriousness, we received a call from the Idaho Health & Welfare department today saying that we had been chosen as the family for Jacob. We are elated. We had been in contact with the social workers there for several weeks and knew this was coming, but it is wonderful to finally have it "official". Jacob has been in foster care with a wonder family for about a year. He and his family came over today and we got to meet him. He is very, very sweet and I think he will fit right into our family. Mom (Rollins) said it best "He's like a little puzzle piece that will just fit right in" and so he is. He's a year and a day younger than Bryce (6) and about a year and a half older than Avery (4). The first few years of his life were pretty rough, but he has a very sweet disposition and seems to be perfect for our family, and we seem to be perfect for him.
We had a few preasents to give him, and he just glowed while he was opening them....but who doesn't like transformers, fighter jets, tonka trucks, snuggly stuffed puppies and a blanket (camo of course). He played so well with Shaylee, Bryce and Avery (and they played so well with him, thank goodness). I heard him say "Bryce, I really like you." As the evening went on, the kids disappeared and we were able to spend quite a while talking with is foster parents. They have done so much to help him in the past year. He seems to have caught up to where he should be for his age. His foster parents are wonderful Christian people who know that Jacob is supposed to be in our family and are very supportive of this transition. During our talk with his foster parents, the kids (ours and theirs) were upstairs watching a movie (Cars, Jacob's favorite) and Jacob came down and timidly walked up to Jaymie and said "I love you so much." That was the sweetest thing I have heard. His foster parents said that they had never heard him say that before, ever.
It was hard to let him go back home with his foster family, but since he's older, we needed to have a short transition. We'll see him daily for the next week at aclimitize, and then he'll be in our home perminently. When he was packing up his new toys and saying good by, Shaylee said "I'm gald that you are my new brother."; Bryce said "I can't wait until you can be my little brother."; and Avery said "Thank you for coming to our family."
We are definitely blessed to have him come to our home. It'll take maybe 6 - 9 months before the adoption is finalized, but we'll be his foster parents until we are able to finalize the process and have him sealed to us. We look forward to that day and are loving our new son.
Paxton, Jaymie, Shaylee, Bryce, Jacob and Avery
PS We aren't allow to post pictures of him yet (foster rules) but if you would like to see a picture email us.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Girls and Guns
I wrote this in response to my brother-on-law who sent me an article on why women should carry hand guns. I got a good kick out of it.
Dear (name removed to protect the guilty),
Thanks for sending the Front Sight blog. It has completely changed the way I feel about guns! Not really, but I am seriously afraid of Dr. Ignatious Piazza and his very formidable mustache. The thought of meeting a mustache like that in a dark alley is enough to make me get a concealed weapons permit. In fact he could probably hide a 9mm in his mustache.
Anyway, since the argument of why I need a gun has been presented, I thought I would give you the same answers I gave Paxton (and will probably get the same response). If I was so very concerned about my safety there are a number of things I could do to minimize personal risk like, move to Gooding, stop riding a motorcycle, quit playing sports, remove all steak knives from my home (I have been tempted to do this on occasion), and give Avery weighted shoes to keep her from climbing things. Odds are that by doing any of these I would minimize risk of things that are much more likely to happen statistically than me being attacked and need a gun.
I am not afraid of guns. I have a healthy respect for them. We own one that I know how to use and practice with several times a year. I don’t see why we need more guns or what good they would do Paxton as he spends 99.9 percent of his time in a cube at Micron, in our church building and in our house (where he already has one gun.) I simply don’t like guns and that is an educated opinion. I don’t like lots of things like curry, parallel parking, the color mustard yellow, the sport of football (American), and guns. I am entitled to that opinion and there isn’t anything you or Paxton can do about it. You can call me close minded but I have read material on both sides of the story and with my given personal experience that is my call.
Finally, I don’t know why I should listen to two guys tell me I need a gun for my own safety when both of said men have managed to shoot themselves on accident.
Lovingly and affectionately your sister-in-law,
Jaymie
This is Dr. Ignatious Piazza and his mustache:
Dear (name removed to protect the guilty),
Thanks for sending the Front Sight blog. It has completely changed the way I feel about guns! Not really, but I am seriously afraid of Dr. Ignatious Piazza and his very formidable mustache. The thought of meeting a mustache like that in a dark alley is enough to make me get a concealed weapons permit. In fact he could probably hide a 9mm in his mustache.
Anyway, since the argument of why I need a gun has been presented, I thought I would give you the same answers I gave Paxton (and will probably get the same response). If I was so very concerned about my safety there are a number of things I could do to minimize personal risk like, move to Gooding, stop riding a motorcycle, quit playing sports, remove all steak knives from my home (I have been tempted to do this on occasion), and give Avery weighted shoes to keep her from climbing things. Odds are that by doing any of these I would minimize risk of things that are much more likely to happen statistically than me being attacked and need a gun.
I am not afraid of guns. I have a healthy respect for them. We own one that I know how to use and practice with several times a year. I don’t see why we need more guns or what good they would do Paxton as he spends 99.9 percent of his time in a cube at Micron, in our church building and in our house (where he already has one gun.) I simply don’t like guns and that is an educated opinion. I don’t like lots of things like curry, parallel parking, the color mustard yellow, the sport of football (American), and guns. I am entitled to that opinion and there isn’t anything you or Paxton can do about it. You can call me close minded but I have read material on both sides of the story and with my given personal experience that is my call.
Finally, I don’t know why I should listen to two guys tell me I need a gun for my own safety when both of said men have managed to shoot themselves on accident.
Lovingly and affectionately your sister-in-law,
Jaymie
This is Dr. Ignatious Piazza and his mustache:
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