Dear Paxton

Wow, life has been more than a little crazy lately huh? I guess that is what we do well together, a little crazy. I've gotta say that I've learned to appriciate you on several different levels since January. You do so much around the house but I didn't realize HOW much until you couldn't do it any more and my "honey do" list got longer and longer. I have learned a few handy things too. Like how to change the oil and transmition fluid in the van and how to clean out a clogged vacuum. I also learned that you can throw me a rockin' birthday party complete with games and a fondue fountain. All these years and you kept that one hidden but now I know! 

I've especially come to appriciate how hard you work. Til now I've know the stress of staying up all night with a sick kid, endless cleaning, throwing up for nine months, and being on call 24-7. But till now, I havn't realized the stress that comes from working and having obligations to other people. With over 8,000 pictures to work through last moth with all the dance studios, life was more than a little stressful that way. I've listened when you've talked about it but I didn't really understand, til now.

I appriciate you getting up and working a job that you don't exactly love. I appricate that you do this to provide for us and that if you were just a single guy you probably would be doing something very different. I love that despite the insane hours you work, you are always so happy to be home and always help me when you can. The other day I found your resume on the computer and was looking threw it. What an amazing, brilliant, hardworking man you are! It totally gave me butterflies... I'd marry you in a heartbeat all over again. God must have known how badly I needed you because there isn't another person on the face of the planet that could be more perfect for me. Thank you for making my life wonderful.

Your loving, adoring, lucky, and grateful wife,

Jaymie

Gators-Spring 2011

To my Boys

Jacob and Bryce I love that because of you I am growning carnivous plants and tiny ancient arthropods on my kitchen widow sill. I love that there was never any adjustment when Jacob came to live with us. It was like you guys already knew each other and loved each other. You guys are pretty much inseperable. You watch TV curled up together on the couch like little puppies and laugh yourselves silly in the back seat of the van over jokes that don't make any sense to me (but that's OK). I'm so happy that you have each other and it makes my heart sick to imagine what our lives would be like if you guys weren't brothers. I also love how you guys never forget your other tiny brother Colin. Even Jacob includes him in the family pictures that he draws (complete with angel wings).

Bryce, I appriciate your kind heart and how you can empathize with other people. I have to be much tougher on the girls for them to understand that they are in trouble but I just have to speak sternly to you and it breaks your heart. You have also been on this kick where you want to be famous and have everyone like you. But Buddy, you can't see how many people LOVE to be around you. Someday some girl will love you for your tenderness the way that I love your Daddy. Till then, those girls will have to treat you right or have your Momma to answer too :)

Jacob, my sweet little boy. I look up to you in so many ways. If anyone ever had a reason to be angry with the world, it would be you. To have been in at least seven different homes by the time you were four and to never have consistant loving parents is more that I can possibly imagine. Sometimes I think of what your life must have been before we got you and it makes me physically sick. I'm so grateful for the few people who helped you down the road where we could meet you. After the workers from Health and Welfare called and said that we were being considered as a family that could adopt you, I thought of you every day. I carried the picture around that I got and showed it to everyone. I could even tell from your picture that you had a sweet and loving heart. I am so, so lucky to be your mom and I want you to know that that will never change. You are stuck with us forever!!

Love you both to pieces,

Your Mom

My Dear Babies

A little while ago I finished a book that was a collection of our family pictures, our blog and your scanned art work. I've loved it so much that I'm determined to keep up with this blog in one way or another. I have however decided to change how I write a bit. I'm going to write to you, instead of just about you.

I love you all so very much. You four little bodies are everything to me. I am so blessed to be mom to such sweet, loving kids. I realize that I've been more than a little stressed lately and that I have yelled and shouted more than I like and I promise I will do better. It has been one of the hardest six months I can remember but that isn't an excuse for raising my voice. I've been trying to work on one characteristic each month but I keep coming back to patience. Honestly I've NEVER been good at that one, ask grandma :)

Bryce, I'm so proud of you for being willing to be the spokesman for the scouts at the library event tonight. I know you hate being in front of people you don't know but you are going to be awesome. I KNOW it.

I love you all with all my heart,

Mom

Yum

My poor son made cumin toast today instead of cinnimon toast. When I noticed he said ,"I thought it smelled funny." Then he put cinnimon on it and ate it all together! Maybe he is on to something but I wasn't brave enough to try it. Yum.

Ouch

These are a little late. Paxton's been out of surgery for three weeks now. These were taken five days after sugery. I really tried to be soft taking his bandages off but I didn't do a very good job. I should have Googled, "How to remove medical bandages" before instead of after. It was like removing his chest hair with duck tape. Poor guy, I think that was the most pain I had seen him in since sugery. He is healing up nicely now. He has even been helping with the dishes and with vacuuming. Three more weeks in the sling and then we can start therapy!

Let Boys Be Boys

I've had to appologize to Paxton, again. It won't be the first or the last. With Paxton's shoulder surgery I have had to be more of schedule nazi than ususal. I had a plan for getting Bryce's pinewood derby card done and Paxton was taking way longer than I had expected. Granted he was doing it mostly with one arm but it is hard for the kids to go to bed while he is grinding away in the garage late at night. Anyway, I knew he was proud of the car and was excited to show Bryce the end product. I was being mentally grouch (and really trying not to say anything to my credit) but I had a million other things that had to be done besides the car. When it was done Bryce loved it and was sure it was going to take first place. Durring the racing he got a little nervouse but had a blast. Then when it was all over and the winners were called, he wasn't one of them and I could watch his little, sweet heart break. He tried to turn away from the other boys so they wouldn't see him cry. Then the announced that there was one more award voted on by the boys themselves for Best in Show. And the winner was Bryce Quigley. I'm so glad I had my camera. The look of incredulity on his face was priceless. I could see every mom in the room breath a sigh of relief. They all know and love Bryce. As you can tell from the last picture,  he was a little more than excited. That night in his prayers he said that he was thankful for the first time in his life that he won something all by himself. That is when I looked at Paxton and appologized. Happy day.