The List Continued

I don't want to repeat anything but in my effort to remain up beat through Christmas sometimes I can use a laugh. Some of you guys have seen this before but I thought I put it back up for those who hadn't (besides I added a few).

I like to keep track of funny things that my kids make me say. You know when see your two year old approach your dog with a purple marker and then you hear yourself yell, "Don't color the dog!"
Did I really just say that? I must think that at least once a day so I started writing them down. I call this The List.

1. It’s not ok to draw on your brother
2. Please don’t lick the van
3. Fish don’t need toilet paper
4. I told you not to lick your dad’s razor
5. I guess when you eat something upside down it comes out your nose
6. Our VCR had a car accident
7. If you put your fingers in his mouth it is not his fault if he bites you
8. Bryce mooned the missionaries today
9. You cut your hair... again
10. No, you’re supposed to pee BEHIND the bush
11. Why are you wearing your brother’s underwear?
12. Please don’t put carrots up your nose
13. Who put a cow in our toaster
14. I don’t know what snot is for
15. Yes, he did look kind of like a porcupine
16. Please don’t bark at people we don’t know.
17. Get the turtle out of your mouth
18. Did you say she flushed Lighting McQueen?
19. Get the turtle out of the refrigerator.
20. He wants to be a transformer when he grows up.
21. What have you done that is good today? No, that was not a trick question.
22. No, he does not have six babies in his tummy.
23. I’m going crazy…. No, you can’t come.
24. yeah, maybe if you save your nickels you can buy a helicopter someday
25. That is glue, not chapstick.
26. Who drew smiley faces on the toilet paper?
27. A candy covered caramel apple is a cruel gift to give to a six-year old with out any front teeth.
28. Just because Mommy said it doesn't mean you can (I said "stupid" while I was driving)
29. Your daughter pulled the chandelier out of the ceiling today.
30. I don't suppose you can sleep with sand in your underwear.
31. Please stop saying "wiener" at the dinner table.

Kids can be way too much fun...