September

I've got to catch up a bit. September was a pretty emotional month. On the 6th I have offically survived three years since we lost our little Colin. It was a pretty crappy weekend I won't lie but at least I was only in a funk for a good week instead of month, or year. Every year it gets a little easier. We usually do something fun as a family that we wouldn't usually pay for but we had had an awesome weekend in Utah the week before so instead we bought a present for each of the kids. We told them that it was for Colin's birthday and that he would want us to be happy on his birthday. It worked for them but not so much for me. It think I'm excused though.

As soon as I pulled out of my little pitty party I realized my sister Lindsay was having her hopefully "last" surgery to put her all back together after being cancer free from a bran tumor for a year. I say "last" because we thought the "last" one before this would do it but obviously not. The poor girl has been through so much. This surgery wasn't ideal but they were ready with a contigency plan that worked. Now she is home and somewhat on her feet. It was so good to talk with her a bit. I make it a goal to make her laugh hard atleast once durring a phone call. That may not seem so kind to someone with a major head injury but I firmly believe that laughing will heal you in a way that medicine will always fail at. It heals your soul as I well know.

We started this month in an awesome way. We go to drive down to Utah and see my family. That might not be huge from most people but for our family we are lucky if we are all on the same continent. I mean that literally. We are sometimes spread out in three out of four hemispheres. For now it is just two though. I LOVE to see my family. And I got to do my little sister Jenny's senior pics. She was five when I left for college. Mom calls us bookends because out of the whole family we look the most alike (and if you have ever seen all seven of us kids together you would know that is something!) She looked so pretty and grown up. We also go to meet my beautful little niece of ten days old Ashlynne. I'm pretending she is partly named after me because she has my middle name Lynn as part of hers.  She is a pretty little thing. I did newborn pics for them and she kept smiling in her sleep. We topped it all of with a trip to Cascade Springs which is kind of a heaven on Earth to me if you don't puke on the way up from car sickness. Then we hit the dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving point and the kids had a blast. There are so many fun things we can do with them now that our littlest is five. And I acutally get to have fun with them!!

Finally, all four of my kids are in school now. It is really, really weird to have such a quiet house. The first day I was all pumped to come home and get a ton of things done. I waved to little Avery as she walked in her classroom with her backpack that is so big it comes down to her knees, and it hit me. I seriously thought I would be doing a little jig back to my car and instead I was wishing my hair was down so it would hide my tears. I kept it in mostly until I got home and it was so quiet that it really weirded me out. Then I lost it and bawled and laughed alternately for half an hour. I called my mom and asurred me that I'm perfectly normal to be hysterical, if that makes any sense.

Now I'm getting in a routine of working while the kids are in school and working in a different way when they come home. I think this is going to be a really awesome year for all of us!

PS I've decide that I'm going to think of one unique thing to be thankful for each day. Yesterday I was grateful for jam that sets. Today I'm grateful for my beautiful motorcylce Jazzy that kicked the bucket today. RIP sassy girl.