Selective hearing

Last night we were all sitting down for family dinner (rare with a husband who works as late as Paxton) but I was having a hard time getting the kids to eat. The conversation went as follows.

Me: Shaylee, keep eating.
Me: Bryce, your fork is to eat with. It is not a catapult.
Me: Both of you stop playing with your food and eat please.
Me: Shaylee stop playing with your brother's food.
Me: Am I invisible or are our kids deaf?
Paxton: Bryce, did you hear what your mom said?
Bryce: Yeah...That she is invisible.

It is so strange how kids never listen until you say something you shouldn't have.

Quotes of the Week

"Please watch where you are peeing."



Me: Bryce, it is 10:00 at night! Why are you still awake?

Bryce: Because I have sand in my underwear.


I love being a mom...

That Doggone Bus

I am getting some good feed back about my crazy experiences as a mother. Perhaps everyone likes to hear that someone else's life is more chaotic that their own or perhaps it is just good for a laugh. Whatever the reason I will continue to post the random craziness that happens in our house in an effort to see the funny side of things (even if it takes several month before it seems funny.) Like this one...

The last week or so of school I was so busy with tutoring and kids that was kind of in a daze. One morning I was getting the kids ready for school when I failed to watch for Bryce's bus and heard as it was pulling away. I ran out and tried to wave them down but failed. It wasn't so bad. I was going to the gym so I figured I would hurry and drop Bryce off on the way. So, I bolted upstairs to change and get him to school on time. Right in the middle of changing I looked out the window and saw the bus pull back up (it had turned around and came back for us) and to my dismay I watched Bryce, his little sister and our dog (Red) all climb on the bus. I threw whatever clothes I could reach (you know when you trying to run and put your pants on at the same time...) and got outside to find the bus driver cracking up as the bus monitor held the dog for all the kids on the bus to pet. As I pull my child and Red down the steps (hoping to not flash anyone since I was not dressed appropriately) and off the bus I heard Bryce say that maybe next time Red could come to school with him.
Lesson Learned: Perhaps this is how God designed kids to keep us humble.

Baby Tattoos

So, I want to know whose idea it was to put the Sharpie markers by the candy in the checkout isle at Walmart. Like I don't have enough to keep my eye on, loading the cart, making sure the kids don't open any of the impulse-buy candy, and weeding out the things that mysteriously appeared in my cart that had no intention of buying. So after grocery shopping for two hours with three kids that like to run in three different directions and having my banana's stepped on, I turned to grab my two year old and found that she had discovered the permanent markers and proceeded to give herself baby tattoo's up and down her arms. FYI you can get permanent marker of skin in two days if you sit the kid in a warm bath for 20 and then scrub with a wash cloth. Also, permanent marker is also mostly removable from washable microsuede but it is difficult to get off walls so just paint over it...

Momma's Boys

My little Bryce has gone to the father-son camp out with Paxton and I miss him. He is the sweetest, most loving and adorable little boy ever. I love that having a little boy makes me feel like I'm falling in love all over again. Sometimes I look at him and he is so handsome my heart flutters and I have to kiss the top of his little red head.

I wrote this a while ago but those of you with boys might appreciate it.

Momma’s Boy

As a boy, he held her hand and sloppily kissed her cheek.
He told her she was beautiful and her praises he did seek.
His thoughtful ways and loving heart gave her constant joy
See, she had brought him up that way, to be a momma’s boy.

When he grew a little more he still greeted her with hugs
And showed her all his treasures like spiders, worms and bugs.
He told her all about his day while he helped her with the cooking
And sometimes he still held her hand when nobody was looking.

A few years later he grew up tall and was gone a little more
But even still, it was “Mom” he yelled after walking in the door.
He had to stoop to kiss her cheek and no longer held her hand
And she knew that he was turning out just as she had planned.

Some time later he left for school and though it broke her heart
She knew that she had raised him well and given the perfect start.
He was intelligent and confident and ready to start his life
And not very long after that I became his wife.

Now as a man he holds my hand and gives me gentle kisses
He tells me that I’m beautiful and almost always listens.
His thoughtful ways and loving heart give me constant joy
And I’m grateful for the woman who raised my man to be a momma’s boy.

Jaymie Quigley 11/26/06

Being Young is Wasted on the the Youth

Today I spoke in front of 600 teenagers and I have to say something in their behalf. Teenagers get a pretty bad rap for being lazy, rude, unappreciative and selfish but what I saw today stands as evidence against that stereotype. I saw a group of well behaved, respectably dressed, eager young people that shined with intelligence, integrity and honor. Maybe the future of America isn't so bleak as it seems. Way to be awesome Mike and Jenny (my baby brother and sister).

Quote of the Day

I like to keep track of funny things that my kids make me say. You know when see your two year old approach your dog with a purple marker and then you hear yourself yell, "Don't color the dog!"
Did I really just say that? I must think that at least once a day so I started writing them down. I call this The List.

1. It’s not ok to draw on your brother

2. Please don’t like the van

3. Fish don’t need toilet paper

4. I told you not to lick your dad’s razor

5. I guess when you eat something upside down it comes out your nose

6. Our VCR had a car accident

7. If you put your fingers in his mouth it is not his fault if he bites you

8. Bryce mooned the missionaries today

9. You cut your hair... again

10. No, you’re supposed to pee BEHIND the bush

11. Why are you wearing your brother’s underwear?

12. Please don’t put carrots up your nose

13. Why is there a cow in our toaster

14. I don’t know what snot is for

15. Yes, he did look kind of like a porcupine

16. Please don’t bark at people we don’t know.

17. That is glue, not chapstick.

18. Did you say she flushed Lighting McQueen?

19. Get the turtle out of the refrigerator.

20. He wants to be a transformer when he grows up.

21. What have you done that is good today? No, that was not a trick question.

22. No, he does not have six babies in his tummy.

23. I’m going crazy…. No, you can’t come.

24. yeah, maybe if you save your nickels you can buy a helicopter someday

25. Get the turtle out of your mouth

26. Who drew smiley faces on the toilet paper?

Kids can be way too much fun...